some items for your consideration

1. My hips are more cooperative than they were at this time last week. Thanks so much for your kind words and emails. The Internet People are so lovely.

2. I have developed a new marketing strategy for the Diva Cup, and it is called OCCUPY MY VAGINA. If the Diva Cup people aren't interested, I may pitch the p.0.r.n people. Those guys need at least one new idea. Or so I hear from the guy that does lights for The Mister.

3. I am not actually going to pitch any of my ideas, clever or otherwise, to the p.0.rn people. Just for the record. Real live people who live their real lives near me have been confrontational regarding my beliefs lately, and I would hate to cause any more disruption to them. And to me. But I will totally tweet this post tomorrow and I will @DivaCup because at the very least they should send me a spare to keep in my glove box JUST IN CASE.

4. Henry turned five. This is the first time in my life that only 25% of my short people are preschool-aged, and fortunately for me, I have 2.25 more years to enjoy it.

5. On Thursday, The Mister and I will celebrate our tenth anniversary. I use the word 'celebrate' loosely. What I really mean is that he will go to work before I get up, and I will likely disrupt him at work by phoning him four times to ask inordinately stupid questions highlighted only by my complete inability to form a cohesive sentence with my mouth and my surprising ability to completely forget every single word in my working vocabulary. After which time he will find himself working very late because it's Advent and he works for the Wesleyans and they are quite the overachievers. And then I will go to bed because it is very late and he will go to bed when he gets home.

And perhaps there will be a snacky treat for me when I get up the next day after he has gone to work, and perhaps I will only phone him three times instead of four. Because if I have learned anything in the last ten years, it is that The Mister's Love Language is NOT CALLING WHEN HE'S AT WORK FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS SACRED. (That Language applied when he did not even work for Jesus in an official capacity, too.)

6. I have decided that when we are enormously wealthy and before the short people go away to be Responsible For Themselves, I will consider it mandatory that I have my own dedicated employee who will anticipate my wants regarding coffee, handle all of the laundry, and mop and vacuum every single day in addition to every time the people maliciously drop crunchy food items on the floor and crunch the items into a bajillion pieces with their feet. I would also like a giant-sized ironing board so I can iron enormous pieces of fabric without having to deal with the stupid pointy end of the ironing board.

7. Happy Tuesday, y'all.

place holder

There is schooling, there is play.
There is a dadda who works long hours, and a mama who does, too.
There isn't much canning this year.
There are books and snuggles on the sofa.
There are things unfinished, and it is possible that there are too many popcorn dinners.
But then again, maybe not.
There is life happening behind this quiet space.

sunset at nana's

some items for your consideration

1. New Sewing Machine. I love her. A whole freaking lot. Her name is Nina Bernina.

2. Another Busted Disc. This time, it's mine. Same one The Mister had surgery on. Some people wear matching shirts or share a hobby, but not us! We get matching boo-boos.

3. Narcotics. See item #2.

4. There is a super nice New York State Park near our house, and we got a season pass, so we go to the beach a whole lot. Last week, one of the lifeguards had to rescue a little boy. I was frightening and awesome at the same time, and I have never seen anybody move as fast as that guard did. Major thumbs up to the New York State Parks for hiring good people, training them well, and for keeping the parks open when many other states are not.

5. Fowl. We own ducks. And I'm sure this statement is going to result in more effbook mockery from that one guy who mocks us for having chickens and thinking about other unconventional pets, but whatever.

6. New Babies And Pregnancies. Four darling babies were born this month, and in the past two days I have learned that two of my friends will be having babies next spring. And before you get all crazy and start suggesting that we make us another wee Dayton, let me remind you that the likelihood that I even get to have a practice run at baby making is... Well... Dude just had surgery and My back is messed and there ain't gonna be no getting some 'round these parts.

7. Swimming Lessons. My town has a wonderful summer rec program with sports and crafty things and swimming lessons for the short people. On Wednesday, the woman who runs the pool approached me and said that more thN six people had complained to her the previous day because I had breastfed Elliott while the other kids were having their lesson. She handled the situation beautifully, and told the complainers that in NY, women have the right to breastfeed their children anywhere they want, and that she wasn't going to ask me to stop or to leave. How awesome is that? It's so rare to hear a story about breastfeeding in public where people know the law and do the right thing. And as an added bonus, I met a lovely mama who is just finishing her Lactation Consultant training. Super cool.

friday the thirteenth, also the thirty-fourth

Y'all, today is my birthday.  And I was out having way too much fun to even talk to you about it.  Also, motherhucking Blogger was a little too NOT ACTUALLY WORKING for me to even talk to you about it.

But let's not talk about *that* little EPIC FAIL.

Usually I post a list of things I want for my birthday.  But this year, I have something very different in mind.

Is your curiosity piqued?  Hmmm???  Maybe just a little?

Tomorrow evening, people.  I will tell you tomorrow evening.  It's completely awesome.

first smarshmallow roast

sunday funday

i got us to the church on time, even a bit early.  was a dreadful substitute for our regular pianist... not sure if the ill-timed dozing or the poor performance was worse.  probably the dozing.  fortunately, i wasn't the only one.  tee hee.

grape-nuts for lunch and a scrumptious nap on my favorite red sofa under a mound of quilts and with a sweet henry-boy tucked in alongside me. only one cup of coffee, no thanks at all to the 15 ulcers in my belly, but it was still lovely.

raked, picked-up-sticks, weeded and mulched the rhubarb.

pb&j for dinner, with a side of rhubarb sauce and peaches from the pantry.  hip-hopped to the playground and stayed until my toes were freezing and the last bit of daylight left the sky.  was very pleased with myself for stashing the woven wrap in the basket of our stroller because wearing elliott home really helped me stay warm. 

popcorn for a bedtime snack.

tucked the short people into bed, breathing the smell of spring in their hair.

packed for tomorrow's visit to see our besties,

ran a load of jeans and socks through the washer and dryer

and off to bed.

some items for your consideration: the long-overdue edition

I realize it has been approximately ninety-eleven daysmonthsyearswhatever since I've been posting.  Sorry about that.  February was awful, and March was bad, and I had nothing clever to say.  It was just dark and icky, and I had nothing to say.  So I didn't waste your time.

However, here's a little catching up.

1. There have been MANY trips to various doctors in the past 8 weeks.  So far, I have fibromyalgia (which I already knew) and at least 15 ulcers because I'm a complete overachiever, and there are approximately four children in my house with varying degrees of constipation.  None of these facts are particularly awesome.  
2. Also not particularly awesome: my migraine meds are a no-no now that I have ulcers, as is spicy food, tomatoes, anything with fat in it, and coffee.  
3. Elliott Samuel, my most darling of darling babies, turned 2 this week.  We celebrated by going to a total of 4 doctor appointments, blowing our noses, doing nebulizer treatments, taking tylenol and going to bed early.  
4. Elliott Samuel, my most unsleeping of darling babes, who just turned 2 this week, also just began the beautiful practice of SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT.  Mostly.  Which means I've had to get up one time on two non-consecutive nights in the past 8 days.  
5. Last week was really sucky, but I got a little something in the mail from her, and a totally awesome dessert from her, and sat for an afternoon with her, and this guy cleaned my car, and my mother-in-law cared for the short people for about 20 hours because she's nice.  And, as if that is not enough, there were more lovely things that happened, like phone calls from people who noticed I've not been myself, and my MOPS mamas showing up on my doorstep with dinner.  I feel like I am forgetting something, but believe me, it's not from lack of gratitude, it's from the migraine I've not been able to shake for a day and a half.  I'm blessed.
6. Henry loves chickens.  I may have mentioned this before.  IN LOVE.  I ordered our meat birds and a few more layers because our laying hens are not actually LAYING EGGS and I think they should visit the pot but it doesn't actually seem to matter what I think because NOBODY WILL KILL THEM.  So I will just purchase more and more hens until someone is forced to take drastic measures.  I digress.  Henry caught me perusing the online catalog of chickenry and squee-ed and shouted LOOK AT THE NAKED NECKS!!!! LOOK AT THE NAKED NECKS!!!  And so I did and he swooned and now we own a naked neck hen.  The end.
7. More Henry.  Kid crawled up in my lap yesterday, wrapped his arms around my neck and said, Mama, I love you more than Elliott does.  I think you should know this.  
8. Homeschooling.  We are doing that thing, still.  The latest in a long line of objections and attempts to not do school is this:  But I can't find a pencil.  And yes, with extra whine and a side of whiney sauce.  It's really difficult to find a pencil in my house, I assure you.  Extraspecially challenging considering there is an enormous box with the word PENCILS written on it in extra-wide Sharpie, and that said box is filled to the brim with at least 200 brand new pencils.  
9. Just now noticing that I haven't mentioned the Wee Man yet... He has mastered drama, congrats to him.  Also, he would like me to do a criteria-unspecified Lego contest on my blog, and he would like to play old-school Super Mario Brothers on the Wii all day long.  Finally, he can beat the Sudoku game on my phone in under 5 minutes.  We're working on that.  Except the Sudoku.  I can't have my 5 year old beating me at Sudoku.
10. And The Mister.  The Mister ________________(verb) a ______________ (adjective) ___________________(noun) sometime before ____________________ (event) and we are not __________________________ (verb) very __________________________(adverb).
11. The Mister also introduced the phrase "Polish bubblebath" into the short people's vernacular this week.

That's the news.  And please, for the love of teh interwebs.  Tell me what's up with you.  I'm not up on your stories and goings-on, and I want to make sure you're all still here.

gratuitous cute.

weather

this is my submission for the 

LENS Photo Challenge.

because hey.

let's try new things.

some items for your consideration, fourth edition

Item the First:  Thank you, so very much, for all the kind words you gave me this week.  Things do tend to look differently after bourbon, or in the morning, or in the morning after bourbon, which in this case is an air-quotes "in the morning" because it pretty much took until today for things to look upward enough to be convincing.

I think it's important to say so when things are not good, just as it's important to say so when things are good.  More than one IRL person told me this week they were totally surprised that I ever felt overwhelmed and inadequate.  Y'all.  Really.  I'm just a mama over here.  I might be a little more quirky than the mama over there and a little more straight-laced than the mama in the other direction, but we're all just mamas, right?  

And when you said, You're not alone, or I get this, or I know how this feels, you weren't just saying it to me.  You said it to other hurting mamas who needed to hear it just as badly as I.  

So thank you.

Item the Second:  In addition to having a bad case of The Whatever That Was Last Weekend, I found myself having a case of the _____________ which led me to schedule an appointment with my midwife, who also performs regular vaginal maintenance procedures.  (And no, the correct answer to the fill-in-the-blank is not BABY IN MAH BELLAH, so pipe down over there.)  I just really don't think that you need a clear description of All Things Southerly, so I'm just going to be a little vague, and you're going to be happy about it.

This was not my yearly exam, because, well, I didn't actually have a yearly exam in 2009, because I was doing something else that did not involve duck-billed anythings in my places.   Except it turns out that when you plan to attend the gyno only when you have a case of the ______________, she will take advantage of you when you are scantily clad and in a relatively immobile position to swish as many swab-ish things as she can in order to secretly conduct your yearly exam.  Big trickster.

But then?  Good news, people!  She upped my meds.  For those of you who don't know, I flat out lost my shit when I was six months pregnant with Elliott, and started taking a low-dose SSRI.  Turns out that flat out losing your shit when you're pregnant is an actual, serious medical condition called antenatal depression.  Time magazine wrote a really great piece about it last February.

But then?  Bad news, people!  She told me I'm fat.  No, she didn't say the Eff word exactly (or the other eff word), but she said something about 20, no 25 pounds and so really speedy quick I stuck my fingers in my ears and sang the Smurfs theme song.  Classy, I know.  I can't even help it!

Item the Third:  Christmas was nice.  Hope you had a lovely Christmas, too, if you're a Christmas-er, or that last Saturday was a nice, plain old boring day if you're not a Christmas-er.  And thank you to my internetty pals who sent us cards.  The short people would open them and say Who are *those* people? and we'd say Blog people, and eventually the short people would open a card, have a look, and say something ridiculous about Pretend People From The Computer.  Except for WRH's card... they jumped up and down and shouted about The Well-Read Son and The Well-Read Daughter and demanded to return to Philadeedelphia at once.  Heh.  Not with that attitude, missy.  And mistery.  Mystery... Oh never mind.

Item the Fourth:  It is bloody cold in my house.  This whole BEING CHEAP thing is not for me.  Thank GOD for my boyfriend, Colin Firth.  I pop that fella in the microwave for three minutes, and he warms me down to the tips of my toes.  Sometimes he warms only my toes, if I make him sit on my feet.  And you know what?  He's okay with that.  And he always cuddles and never asks for anything more, no matter how hot he gets.  You should totally get your own Colin Firth.  (Spoiler alert:  shameless plug.)

Item the Fifth:  Laptop or iPod Touch.  Discuss.

Item the Sixth and Final:  Plans for New Years' Eve are as follows:  Feed the children dinner.  Make some popcorn in our new Whirly-Pop thingy.  Pop a movie in the DVD player and cuddle in bed with the short people whilst The Mister mixes some random bar band and earns a pocket o'cash.  Bed by nine.  I know.  We're terribly exciting.

love this.

the first pair of socks i ever knit.
turns out they're matchy-matchy with the
vintage lino in my kitchen.

halloween wedding

We went to a supercool wedding on Halloween.

The Mister was one of the Best Fellas.

I was not.

jon and pamela?
tim and helena?

I was Helena Bonham-Carter.

The Best Fella Mister was Tim Burton.

Why? 

Because the bride and groom are *huge* fans of

The Nightmare Before Christmas.

It was our homage to them.

one of the groom's friends painted this.
for real. flipping amazing.

The best part? 

Well, other than watching this: 

the bride and groom

WAS THIS:

oh.my.word.
chocolate cake and guinness.
still in hypoglycemic shock.

BEER CAKE BEER CAKE BEER CAKE

yet another picture of me.
begs the question: did i photograph my children in their costumes?
uh, umm... no?

(you know how i feel about cake?

same goes for sarah and brett.)

nicey.

straight out of the heavens. and camera.

where you'll find us

Growing up we called it Mumford, which is the name of the town, and not the place.  Its really real name is the Genesee Country Village and Museum.  

What's here?

Living history.  Tradesmen (and women).

Farmers. Weavers. Dyers. Blacksmiths.

Potters. Brewers. Artists.  Artisans. Historians.

Educators. Volunteers. Employees.  And critters.

strips of tree waiting to become a basket

the blacksmith

wagon wheels

beautiful cobblestone

the cooper's shop.
a cooper makes barrels. i didn't know, either.

barrel rings

waiting for a fix

Wee Man and HB crunch an apple

Miss O took a class...in costume... that's her on the far right.

This weekend is the annual 19th Century Agricultural Society Exhibition.  I entered bread and butter pickles, dill pickles and grape jam.  I can't wait to see the other offerings.  When we dropped my items off today, the cooper was entering some barrels, there were people with gorgeous cut flowers, baskets of produce, pies, breads, pottery... so many beautiful things!   The short people are most excited about the exhibition hall full of chickens (at least it will be warm and dry in there!)  

Check out their blog and fan them on the effbook.  Better yet? Stop by this weekend.  I'll be the mama with the apple green stroller and the kids you recognize.

Disclosure, not that I need it, but in case you're wondering:  we are members of the Genesee Country Village and Museum, and we bought our very own membership.  Miss O earned the money for her class by doing extra chores, picking strawberries and baking bread.  There is no compensation whatsoever involved in this post, we just really like it there and I think you should go there because it's flipping cool.  And I'm probably not going to win any of the food competition anyway, and if I do it has absolutely nothing to do with the blogging.  They didn't even know I had a blog until now (hi, GCVM!). 

do fun stuff. a kids' record for parents.

100% of the proceeds from the sale of this album goes to a grant fund Ryan from Pacing the Panic Room established with PRISMS. The money will be made available to grad students who wish to make SMS their field of choice, the benefit of this is more hard research being done, which leads to more case studies, which leads to more answers for parents and researchers.

Have a listen, or better yet, head straight to iTunes and buy the album. It is fan-freaking-tastic, and the resulting booty shaking is amazing and atrocious at the verysame time.

What? You want to put this fun little monster man on your website, too?  Click the little SHARE THIS WIDGET jobber at the bottom of the box, and copy the code.  The Google Chrome browser doesn't really like the cutesy widget, but I put mine in with Explorer, and it is very happy there.  (Thumbs down, Googles.  Way to help.)

And can I just say? I really want a tshirt with that fun little monster man on it.

Go forth and download.

public service announcement

I am so! very! excited! to be a sponsor of the Dozens Diaper Drive.  What is this Dozens? you ask.  The Cloth Diaper Foundation is getting ready to re-open the application process, but they are a little short on cloth.  They are looking to raise enough money to have 100 dozen diapers to help 100 families get started with cloth diapering their babies.  

Each $5 donation counts as one diaper.  

So. 

Give it a think. And maybe give.

*****

The Cloth Diaper Foundation, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, is dedicated to helping qualifying families all over the United States get a jump start on cloth diapering. Cloth diapers are a more natural, healthy alternative to disposables that reduce overall waste, thereby helping the environment. As a supplementary program, it is not our wish to be a family’s sole source for cloth diapers; rather, we assist families while they build their own supply of diapers. We accept donations given by caring individuals and redistribute them to families in need.

love these guys

birthday boy

Wee Man turned five.

sweet smile

somewhat excited about the hot wheels

Miss O picked him an Easter basket full of apples.
Dude loves him some apples.

Again, somewhat excited.
About A CARD.
Kid is awesome.

He called this a spring.
What is this slinky?
I know no slinky.

This boy?  Is fantastic. 

Bean soup was his request for birthday dinner.

With bacon AND ham.

Because how can you choose?  They're both the best.

Milkshakes with every kind of fruit for dessert.

And also cake, don't forget the cake.

And the face.

Don't forget that face.