Monday, February 18, 2008

gee thanks

Dear Uncle Sam,

Just a little note thanking you for not giving us the shaft this year. The Mister works hard, and we really try to make the best of our financial situation. I appreciate the consideration you are granting us this year, bestowing upon us a refund instead of the usual sharp sticks inserted brusquely in every available orifice.

You see, we are trying to not be poor. We are excited to pay our bills and to be good citizens. We volunteer and love Jesus and help others. We teach our children to do the right thing...except for the time I told her it would be fine to punch the naughty boy at church who just will not stop harassing her, we are good parents. For the record, I suggested punching him after she suggested kicking him in the, well, on second thought let's just not bring up the record.

We recognize that the extended family, yourself included, doesn't seem to be interested in the hard-working, self-employed members of the family. Congratulations on your change of heart.

I want you to know we also appreciate the additional forthcoming late spring benevolence refund, even if the only reason for it is to help boost the image of the right-wingish side of the family, and aid the efforts of the veteran uncle who wants to be the pater familias. Because it's too late for you to back out of the spring gift, I will say that your trying to help out the veteran uncle is pretty much done in vain, and that it's quite possibly a last-ditch attempt to leave us with some sort of positive thought about you when you are no longer the Boss of Everyone. I feel confident that, barring some bizarre turn of events or serious act of God, the right-leaning side of the family is going to be out of work shortly. I can sympathize, really I can. Hopefully it won't be too hard for you all to swallow hard, and talk to the part of the family that actually has to work for a living, maybe learn a little about what it's like.

So thanks for thinking of us. We look forward to the arrival of your benevolence.

Love and kisses,


  1. Or not so right-leaning....

    More Dems in the Senate voted for the rebates included in the Stimulus bill, and no Dem's voted against the measure. The House version of the bill was sponsored by Rep Pelosi and some of the more liberal members of Congress. If politically motivated, the rebate checks would seem to be more in line with the left-leaning side of the family (government hand-outs, more government spending) - more helpful to your friends Billary and Bobama, who by the way, didn't bother to vote on the measure at all as they were too busy with politics as usual. McCain did vote (Yea) for the measure.

  2. We just don't agree on politics, so I won't address your Republicanism. However, if McCain was actually competing against anyone in his quest to become the next prezzy-poo righty-pants, or if his campaign really mattered and was a factor in the presidential election (maybe it will be, if the Machine wins), he'd have been stumping, too.


talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.