foodish friday: week something or other

I'm SO FAR BEHIND with the whole Foodish Friday thing.  If you're someone who's a huge fan of the Foodish Friday, I apologize.  If you are the opposite of a huge fan of Foodish Friday?  Well, today's not your lucky day.

But you wanna know who *is* in luck?  All'a'y'all who have too much zucchini.  Because, well, read on, and you'll see.

It's called Zucchini Relish.  And it is yummy.  So. Yummy.  Eat it on a burger, on a dog, on a hot dog, on sausage, on a fork.  Any way you dish it, the stuff rocks.

you know you want it

Here's what you need to can about 4 pints of relish.  But don't stop there. Four is not enough.  Trust me.

• 4 cups shredded or chopped zucchini
• 2 - 3 cups shredded or chopped onion
• 2 cups chopped green and red pepper (optional)
• 1/4 cup canning salt
• 3 1/2 cups sugar
• 5 teaspoons celery seed
• 2 Tablespoons mustard seed
• 2 cups apple cider vinegar

And here's how you do it:

1. Put the zucchini, onion, and optional peppers in a big old bowl.  
2. Pour the salt over the veggies.  Stir it up so the salt is all over your veggies.  Or, you can use your hands, which is my preference.
3. Cover the veggies with cold water, and find something else to do for a couple of hours.  OR! put your veggies into plastic zippy bags, with no water, and stick them in the fridge overnight and come back to it in the morning after you've had two cups of coffee and have fed the short people.  Either way.
4. Drain and rinse your veggies.
5. Put all of the remaining ingredients into a large stockpot, and bring to a boil.  At the same time, fill up your boiling water canner, and get your jars ready.  If you are not familiar with the phrase "getting your jars ready", you should go here and read all about it.
6. When your vinegar and spices are boiling away merrily, add the veggies, and simmer 10 minutes, or longer if you happen to forget you are trying to make relish.  Not that this will happen to you. 
7. Stuff your jars full of relish, but leave 1/4 inch headspace.  If you are not familiar with the phrase "1/4 inch headspace", you should go here and read all about it.  
8. Slide a clean butterknife between the sides of each jar and the relish to get all the air bubbles out.  This is sort of a science, but not really, so just give it the old college try and trust that you did a good job.
9. Gently apply the lids and rings.  Gently place in your boiling water canner, process 10 minutes or so, unless you forget... oh never mind.
10. Remove from canner with the special canning tongs, and place jars on a cooling rack over a towel or a placemat that you're not really fond of.  
11. Stare longingly at your beautiful relish for six weeks while the flavor develops and you slowly lose your mind.  Or do other stuff for six weeks.  Your call.  Store home-canned items in a cool, dark place, and do not under any circumstances eat it if the seal has popped open, or if a foul stench bursts from the jar when you open it, or if your relish has grown hair.  Those are all very bad signs.

There.  Go forth and make relish for all your relations.  They will sing a chorus of praise and thanksgiving in your honor, and possibly give you a tiara.

pickled red onions.
just a little bonus for making it
to the end of the post.

and another.
also? yes. my kitchen is pink.