some items for your consideration

1. Not a torn rotator cuff.  Instead, I got two thumbs up for a job well done (yay me!), from the Physical Therapist who diagnosed me with bicipital tendonitis, thoracic outlet syndrome, and bulging discs in my neck. Please do not attempt to be as awesome as me.  It will not turn out well.  Trust me on this. 
2. Something that may have happened at the dinner table in the past week, possibly at my house:  someone laughed so hard that he or she (statistically a he, considering) pooped his or her pants.  Also?  The same person may have been making ridiculous noises until that verysame person actually vomited on the kitchen floor.  And no. It was NOT ME.  Statistics, people, statistics.
3. I was THIS CLOSE to having a warrant out for my arrest.  Again, please do not attempt to be as awesome as me.  Living on the edge is only the teensy-est bit exciting.
4. My hair is totally ginormous.
5. The Mister has two musicals back-to-back, Les Mis this week and Oliver!!!!!!!!!!! (only one actual excitement point in the title) next week.  I'll see him sometime mid-November, which pretty much guarantees there will be no "Big Announcement" when our anniversary rolls around in December.  
6. I almost had a fist fight with a roadside construction worker on my way to Physical Therapy on Monday.  This has nothing to do with Item #3 (see above).
7. Elliott has become a maniacal social laugher.  Needless to say, the rest of the short people find this INCREDIBLY funny and have become maniacal ooh-let's-get-the-baby-to-laugh laughers, which had gotten old before it actually began.
8. I posted a status on the effbooks about offering $10 and sexual favors to the first person who would come to my house and make my television and dvd player talk to each other.  Thank GOD the only person who responded was The Mister.  Because that would have been awkward.  And he's such a nice guy he declined the money.
9. A friend of mine told me that the students who go Belfast Elementary School (Belfast, NY, not Northern Ireland... but possibly there, too, I don't actually know) are not allowed to run on the playground because some normal kid was (shocker) running superty fast and (shocker) tripped and (more shocker) got a bloody nose TWO YEARS AGO.  And forevermore nobody is ever allowed to run on the playground ever ever again.  I give them two thumbs up for being stupid.  (I did type 'stupid jackasses' but then I remembered my rule about something or other and decided to delete it.  Being a grown-up is hard work.)
10. The chickens are scheduled for a nice beheading, and a hot date with the slow cooker.  Yee haw.

What's up with you?  And I'm serious, people.  I want to know.  Last time I asked you didn't even say anything.  So chop-chop with the typey-typey.