apparently i stink. it's one of those not-often-spoken-of side effects of pregnancy.

Has anybody else noticed how the new supercool thing to do on effbook is to pass memes around like STDs in the 70's? I was going to just post the answers to this little fella on the effbook, but my self-deprecating self just couldn't resist the potty humour.

And also, certain people have been phoning my neighbors to check on me, because I'm not as perky as usual. I appreciate the concern, really and truly I do. I'm sorry I'm not superperky...I swear I'll do better soon, like in 4-6 weeks or so, when I can resume sleeping on my stomach and also turn over in the night without throwing off all my covers, removing the pillow from between my knees, sitting up, standing up, rearranging my various sundry body props, sitting back down, replacing the knee pillow, lying down, sitting back up to adjust the belly pillow, lying down, flipping the head pillow over to the side with no drool cold side, listening to the Mister's heavy breathing CPAP machine until my brain decides to go back to sleep. It's at least a 20 minute process about once an hour. I'm researching black market sleep aids. I'm researching nothing, actually. Nothing at all. No research here.

Instead of research, I have asked Miss O and Wee Man twenty-some questions about myself. Wee Man, in his inimitable way, answered the questions thoughtfully, but Miss O was in a sassy mood, so there's quite a bit of exaggeration going on here. And by quite a bit? I mean all mentions of farts and pot holders. Because seriously, people, there is no way on God's green earth that my brand is worse than The Mister's brand.

1. What is something mom always says to you?
Miss O: Ummm....I don't know. What do you? No, that's not what I wanted you to write. (giggles) Next question.
Wee Man: Get your pull-up and jammies on and get in bed and read books.

2. What makes mom happy?
Miss O: When I listen.
Wee Man: Getting in the car and you can buckle me and then you drive.

3. What makes mom sad?
Miss O: When I don't listen. And when I steal cookies. And when I steal her farts. And when I steal...when HB steals her earrings.
Wee Man: Telling things bad.

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
Miss O: Sometimes when you fart. And when she makes silly stuff to eat.
Wee Man: Telling things funny. (Crazy laughter) I just waughed.

5. What was your mom like as a child?
Miss O: Like me.
Wee Man: Hmmm....ummm...I don't know, but...me and Sis and HB and me are childs.

6. How old is your mom?
Miss O: 31
Wee Man: 5

7. How tall is your mom?
Miss O: I don't know. You're five feet two inches, I think. Almost as tall as Daddy. (Who is 6'2", for the record.)
Wee Man: BIG!!! HUMONGOUS!!! WIDE!!!

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Miss O: Is it nap?
Wee Man: God to bed and wash the dishes and change poopy diapers.

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Miss O: Nap. Knit and make pot holders.
Wee Man: Find me.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Miss O: Cooking or knitting or her blog posts...or her farts. That's a good one, because your farts are way stinkier than dad's.
Wee Man: Pamela.

11. What is your mom really good at?
Miss O: Napping and making pot holders and knitting and farting.
Wee Man: Walking. Cuz you are good at walking.

12. What is your mom not very good at?
Miss O: Not farting. And playing basketball.
Wee Man: Jumping.

13. What does your mom do for a job?
Miss O: Nothing. You don't have a job.
Wee Man: Doing chores. Getting dressed and going somewhere that I don't know.

14.What is your mom's favorite food?
Miss O: Everything.
Wee Man: Granola. Cuz you WUV granowa.

15.What makes you proud of your mom?
Miss O: She loves me and takes care of me.
Wee Man: Doing the chores.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Miss O: I think she would be Porky Pig because he's pink.
Wee Man: A mean girl. A mean, evil mom.

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Miss O: Cuddle. And make pot holders.
Wee Man: Go to the post office.

18. How are you and your mom the same?
Miss O: We have the same hair and the same skin.
Wee Man: We're growing.

19. How are you and your mom different?
Miss O: She has blue eyes and I have brownish-green eyes.
Wee Man: Dad. Cuz Dad is big, but Mommy is growing about to be dad.

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Miss O: She takes care of me.
Wee Man: Cuz I do everything nice.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
Miss O: That he knows how to clean up poop and help mom with stuff.
Wee Man: You love him all the time.

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Miss O: You like to go to JoAnn's.
Wee Man: The post office?