Life is amazing and full of surprises. Like when my wife was giving birth at home for the first time in our bedroom in a giant tub of hot water, and out popped a girl. That was a fantastic surprise!
Oh crap. Introductions first. This is Only Aman:
Better yet, here is Only Aman sans (without) uniform:
So I was talking to my wife (ChurchPunkMom - http://myembellishedtruth.com) and she was telling me that she was seeing her old boyfriend again. I was like WHAT THE HECK! She looked at me with all seriousness and told me that she was making out with him the night before. I was blown away. Then she sat me down and we had a talk.
You see her old boyfriend had disappeared, sort of all of a sudden. She knew him for some time, he was sweet loving and protective. He was everything that she wanted in a man. They were both very happy with life and each other, or so she thought. Then something happened and he went into hiding. Recently she had been getting some messages from him as he was trying to get out of the trouble he was in. So when the opportunity came to see him again, she jumped at it! I just didn't know what to say. I mean - I knew how much she loved him by the look in her eyes. Those gorgeous eyes...
Ok ok... enough embellishing.
So last year I started growing a beard and wearing "The Uniform" to work everyday. The beard consisted of my facial hair, while "The Uniform" consisted of a black hat, white dress shirt, black tie, black coat, black pants, black shoes (Etnies skate shoes are so comfortable) and some random socks consisting of black and white thread. I started wearing this because I was at a cross roads in my life. You see to me, black and white means either you are black or white, you are in or you are out, you are a sinner or you are not. You are truth or not truth.
I was struggling with depression for some time (2 words), I am not quite sure how to say what was going in my mind but for those of you familiar with Fight Club you could say that Tyler Durden was starting to take over. (note to yourself - watch fight club) My thoughts had become a new reality and I felt like I was living two lives. One of truth and the other built on lies. It is strange what you start believing when your head is not correct. I made some terrible choices that nearly cost me my marriage and much more.
It was by the grace of God (and my wife) that I finnally came around and realized my head was not screwed on so tight. Something was wrong. I ended up seeing some doctors and found out I was bi-polar (which was a blessing and a curse - ha ha). It took me a little while to see my errors, with support of my wife and friends I was able to get my head out of my ass (I don't care if I can't say ASS on your blog). I realized I needed to decide which way I was going to take. The hard road where I try to clean up the mess I made if not make it better or do i run away and continue to self-destruct, or if your a fight club fan... hit bottom.
So back to the uniform... and that old boyfriend my wife was seeing.
I started wearing the uniform because I made a decision to commit to the life I wanted, for self discipline, for truth justice and the right to wear underwear on the outside of your pants. Wait... I mean, I made a decision to be truthful, to myself, my wife and all around me. Like my uniform I have maintained my choices. I decided the beard and the uniform needs to come from something different. Not from what it came from. So for now... my very hot wife gets to see her old boyfriend (me: naked face) and I get to see those gorgeous eyes of my hot wife as she shoots me with laser beams of love (deadly eyes when she is mad).
One year of consistency and my new cross-roads is what to wear. Not so bad as the last one was far more life changing. However I am still Only Aman.