Sunday, April 19, 2009

UPDATED!!! okay, i understand that this is totally two days ago but i can't really watch the news with all the short people around

I know that I am probably most assuredly going to hear about this from all of the conservatives in my life.  But really?  It is so worth it.

Wednesday morning, I was supposed to hang with mah gal Hanna.  Except she forgot she had to hang with the cable guy so that she could get high-speed internet so she can watch videos and actually visit mah blogishness instead of reading me in a reader... and also, her husband was going to some tea event with signs, some sort of protest thing, and he was taking the car, so she was stuck at home.

In the background, I heard him say, Who are you talking to?

And Hanna said, Just one of my liberal friends.

And then he muttered something, and left, and Hanna, the supportive and lovely wife, said, Have fun!  I love you!

(I need to say that I'm not just flat-out mocking Hanna's unnamed popo hubby here, I'm just going to mock all people involved in this event.)

TEABAGGING.  These people, the righty-right Republicans, have been sending teabags to the White House to protest the taxes.  And now they're having Tea Parties.  
Y'all?  Are riflippingdiculous.  Michelle does not strike me as a tea drinker, and if she is I'm pretty sure she's not drinking any nasty Lipton out of a bag for bloody hell's sake.
 
There are groups on effbook and twitter all about teabagging politically.  As if THAT'S never been done before.  What?  you say.  What is this teabagging and why are you mocking political teabaggers?  Read this quicky post by The Bloggess, and catch your little self up on what teabagging is, and then come back.   I'll wait.  No really, I'm drinking beer and eating doritos right now.  I can afford a few minutes.  Take your time.  Just make sure you're not drinking anything.  You've been warned, so don't freaking complain back here.

Okay.  You're back?  Got it?

So really, Republicans?  Teabagging?  That's the best you can do?  With all the dirty old Republican Senators tapping their toes in the bathroom and banging hookers, you people didn't see this coming?  There are no gay men Republicans who giggled at your stupidity and then clued you in about what teabagging is?  

Even if Rush Limbaugh and that Blahblah Savage Person haven't made Conservatives look ridiculous recently?  A teabagging campaign would still be a bad idea.  Even if the former President had been a raging success and not the bumbler he turned out to be?  BAD IDEA.   And the people that coined the phrase "TEABAG OBAMA"?  Dudes.  Have you seen his wife?  She could totally take you with both arms tied behind her back and also probably if she was hopping on one foot.

Teabag Obama.  Please.

And if you're not sick of it yet, you should totally watch this video.  Because it is funny, that's why.



In other news, I was almost hit by a drunk driver Wednesday night.  He tried hard to hit me from behind while I was on my way home from Target.  I let him pass me (which, for the record, is something I neverevereverever do because I'm totally a jerk like that), and then I called the Sheriff's office (didn't get to talk to Hanna's husband, though, he had the day off for his teabagging party), and ratted his ass out.  

I got home and The Mister said, So, did you have a nice, relaxing time at Target?  And I said, Yes, but then on the way home I almost DIED BECAUSE OF A F*CKING DRUNK DRIVER!!!! and he was appropriately sympathetic, and recommended I go in the house and drink a beer, but I am so way ahead of him right now, I'm on beer number 2.  Which will be the final beer because, well, it's the final beer.  And also, for the record, I did not commence drinking until I had been home for a while.  And he was out soldering (pronounced SODDERING, for all of you who are like me and can't say that word whilst looking at it) something, he was listening to the popo scanner and heard that the bastard in the blue truck got ARRESTED for being PLASTERED.

I.  Was.  A.  HERO!  Who knows how many lives I saved tonight by being a ratty tattle-tale.  I am awesome.  And a little buzzed. And I didn't get killed by a drunk driver, so I totally am the winner in this situation.

Good night, and good luck. Especially if your a Republican or a drunk driver. Because there are people out to get you if you are.

And PS? I am so labeling this post hot wives are hard to come by because it is, quite possibly, the best tag ever.


UPDATE:
I forgot to tell Hanna in advance that I mentioned her and her husband. Sorry, Hanna.

Also? I love and respect people who think differently than I do, I just found this specific use of the word teabagging to be really odd and funny.

And also, I am not drinking beer in the hospital this time, I wrote this post Wednesday night when I was happily drinking Yuengling Black and Tan in the comfort of my own home.

The End.

19 comments:

  1. You are a hero. My hero. And you deserved a third beer (so long as you were not planning to drive afterward).
    I'll buy (and drive too, I guess - since you won't be able to).

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  2. i think i'm confused ... you are drinking beer at the hospitable?
    and my hero ...
    the whole tea-bagging thing(ugh ... kinda makes my stomach churn even typing it.) that the republicans have created ...
    really? doesn't make any sense ... whatsoever. and i had to comment first ... but i'm off ... to re-read the bloggess thing. and if i had (higher) speed internets ... i might be able to click on the video ... but alas ... i find it hard to enjoy video that stops every 3 seconds and loads for 10 seconds).

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  3. I'm sure all those republicans have been teabagging for years now, and I can't quite understand why they're talking so openly about it now. I mean, keep that shiz to yourself, yo.

    Hey, did you happen to look up any of the other terms they were bandying about on that Bloggess post? Because, ew.

    Hope you and the little one get to go home tomorrow.

    xo

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  4. You are hilarious. Thanks for the laugh -- actually, guffaw.

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  5. I'm pretty thankfully I didn't have to see much of the teabagging stupidity. Ah the advantages of British fed satellite tv. (I'm not entirely sure I would get it anyway. I like tea so it simply seems stupid to waste it ya know?)
    I am quite thankful you did not meet in a deadly way with mr drunk driver. I'm happy he got picked up, there is some justice in the world apparently.

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  6. Teabagging Republicans. That was just the laugh I needed this morning!

    Way to go on getting the drunk driver nabbed. You are a total hero!!

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  7. That Rachel Maddow clip? Priceless. LOVE it.

    And you. Glad that drunk jerk didn't kill you. XX

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  8. Ah, nothing like a big ol' mug of steaming hot tea(bagging) on a beautiful Sunday morning...a 'spittake' worthy post, Pamela, thank you for the belly laugh!

    Very glad to hear you are unscathed, and the perp caught. Sheesh.

    Now, how to eaxplain to Wee Lass why daddy was laughing so much :)

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  9. This was too funny. I'll be sending it along to some friends. What were those people thinking?

    Nice snag on the drunk driver.

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  10. Hmmm...I'm guessing I shouldn't send you the pictures of my children attending a local tea bag event here. :) Ours was much more civilized with nicely dressed people who didn't have Lipton bags hanging off their hats at least.

    Can I still hang out here even though I'm a Republican? You know you'd miss my conservative ass if you kicked me out....

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  11. oh god oh god oh god oh god....read my blog. we had tea parties in texas, too. did you hear? we might secede from the union. cool, right? here in texas we just keep producing political geniuses (or would that be geni?)my little town had a tea party and nobody invited me. but i took the kids to the movies which is directly across from the town square where the tea party was being held and i had to park the obama-bus (as our van is known) at the freakin' tea party. nobody messed with it :). conservative friends have been like, "hey we saw your bus at the tea party - were you at the movies?" because nobody would assume i was at the tea party. cause i don't teabag, ya know.

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  12. Stiletto- I loves me mah Conservative pals. Don't worry.

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  13. Pamela - I still love you. Even if your former president likes to teabag the interns... no finger pointing or anything, but I still love you anyhow. :P Oh and I totally fogive you for ripping on me and mah conservative peeps.

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  14. Well thank goodness....I thought I was going to have to find another favorite person to stalk. WHEW.

    Lurves ya. xoxo
    Mary Anne

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  15. Hi there,
    Being my totally innocent conservative self... I truly had no idea what "teabagging" was. Gross. I'd venture to guess that most of my republican friends in this area also don't know.

    Hey, there's something to be said for innocence.

    Steph

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  16. I just tried to totally block it out - turn the channel - mute CNN - program out FOX News - kind of like when a spoiled little kid is throwing a fit because after a decade, the pendelum has swung back the other way, their way, ...I try to withhold my pity from rich people whining about taxes, and save it for children who have NOTHING.TO.EAT.

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  17. Congratulations on all of THAT! However, drinking and shopping at Target = FUN. Drinking, driving and killing people = not so much fun.

    The Yuengling is quite popular here in the ol Savannah...they just started selling and serving it here about two months ago!

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  18. hahahaha, teabagging! What does this! Anyway, way to save your fellow Genesee County-ians.

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  19. When I first heard the "teabagging" thing, I too thought it was someone make a really risque pun. That was followed closely by horror when I realized it wasn't. Oy.

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talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.