Monday, July 13, 2009

welcome.

Hi. I'm Pamela, and I'm the blogger round these here parts.

Except for when I'm not the blogger, then I perform a variety of other services, including, but not limited to the following:
  1. wife
  2. mama
  3. nursemaid
  4. coffee-drinker
  5. applier of all things band-aid
  6. remover of all things band-aid
  7. chef
  8. babywearer
  9. lawn mower
  10. ass-wiper
  11. ass-wiper
  12. ass-wiper
  13. ass-wiper
  14. yes, I have included my own in the tally
  15. laundress
  16. bed maker
  17. toy tripper-onner
  18. toy kicker
  19. toy thrower-awayer
  20. gardener
  21. nose wiper
  22. all night diner
  23. all night water service
  24. cat hater
  25. cat tripper-onner
  26. cat kicker
  27. not all the cats, just the one who asks for it by wrapping his nasty self around my feet and ankles, and I don't kick him *that* hard, but I did throw a high-heeled shoe in his general direction the other day, don't bother calling PETA, I'll kick and throw shoes at them, too.
  28. because I can, that's why.
  29. raw pea-pod eater
  30. raspberry picker
  31. currant picker
  32. not a nose picker
  33. diaper washer
  34. chauffeur
  35. sometime adult
  36. ummm...
  37. brainiac. or something.
Thanks for stopping by. If you're new here, please know that my usual offerings are slightly better than this measly peasly list. Which, if I may say so myself, is NOT all inclusive, however the omission of both lap-dancer and pole-dancer is not a mistake.

Because the list is all the stuff I do for free.

13 comments:

  1. Don't lie. You totally pick noses.

    You know when the babes have that one HONKER that is blocking the nostril from inhaling air. You know you pick it. (and possibly your own too, we don't know what you do in the shower!)

    (and yes, I'm half-drunk commenting)

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  2. okay, i pick the occasional nose.

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  3. And all the other mamas think that you are Fan-tas-tick!

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  4. LOL! I especially love the kicking cats part because I'm NOT a fan of cats. Oops, the secret's out.

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  5. i love all of it! i try really hard not to kick cats though. but i have one of those really annoying ones too. it's more of a shove with my foot.

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  6. Lap dancer huh? Interesting...

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  7. Husband once knocked some paper off his night stand. When he didn't pick it up, and I called him on it, he said, "The maid will get it." Which was funny until I figured out that was me.

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  8. I think #1 and #2 are switched around at my house. At least, that's what the husband says.

    That's quite a bit of ass wiping there, P.

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  9. I'm so glad I don't have to wipe anyone's ass but my own anymore. Someday, they'll be wiping my ass! Payback is a bitch ;-)

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  10. do you do the slow band-aid pull or the quick rip?

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  11. #17-19: me too.
    i swear i broke my toe yesterday while walking through the kitchen...stupid toy trucks.

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  12. You forgot adventurous traveler.

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talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.