Once upon a time, there was a little girl. She wasn't that little really, about 15 years old... old enough to know better, young enough to do it anyway. You know the age.
She was lovely, I imagine. It is a fairy tale, right? I can imagine. Blue eyes, brown hair, a good Catholic girl.
A good Catholic girl with a secret. I know that's not very fairy tale-ish, to have a Catholic girl with a secret, but it's my fairy tale, damn it, and I'll tell it how I please.
The secret was buried deep inside her, planted there, and just like anything else, the pressure from a secret grows and grows, and eventually everybody knows that there's a secret and eventually-eventually everybody figures out what the secret is. And that is just what happened to the little girl. She kept her secret, but the heavy burden that it was built up inside her, and just as she felt she was ready to explode from the weight and stress and the general gravity of the situation...
Can you even imagine what the little girl did?
She got a little help. She found out that everything was going to be okay, at least they promised her that eventually she would be okay, she would get over it. Something behind the smile, hidden away in the eyes of the kind angel who assured her caused the little girl to wonder if this was the truth. She hoped the angel's words were more true than the look in the angel's eyes.
The secret was revealed to all who knew the little girl under bright, harsh lights, in a cold and sterile room. Absolutely everything was revealed.
The little girl thought she would stop feeling guilty. The former secret was whisked away, the traces of it folded up and discarded, everything was scrubbed and sanitized. No tangible trace of the secret remained.
More kind faces assured the little girl that everything had worked out in the best possible way, and something behind their smiles, hidden away deep in their eyes caused the painful throbbing in the girl's chest to echo throughout her entire self.
Time passed, and the little girl grew. Her secret faded away for some, but never for her.
And she remained nameless.
She was lovely, I imagine. It is a fairy tale, right? I can imagine. Blue eyes, brown hair, a good Catholic girl.
A good Catholic girl with a secret. I know that's not very fairy tale-ish, to have a Catholic girl with a secret, but it's my fairy tale, damn it, and I'll tell it how I please.
The secret was buried deep inside her, planted there, and just like anything else, the pressure from a secret grows and grows, and eventually everybody knows that there's a secret and eventually-eventually everybody figures out what the secret is. And that is just what happened to the little girl. She kept her secret, but the heavy burden that it was built up inside her, and just as she felt she was ready to explode from the weight and stress and the general gravity of the situation...
Can you even imagine what the little girl did?
She got a little help. She found out that everything was going to be okay, at least they promised her that eventually she would be okay, she would get over it. Something behind the smile, hidden away in the eyes of the kind angel who assured her caused the little girl to wonder if this was the truth. She hoped the angel's words were more true than the look in the angel's eyes.
The secret was revealed to all who knew the little girl under bright, harsh lights, in a cold and sterile room. Absolutely everything was revealed.
The little girl thought she would stop feeling guilty. The former secret was whisked away, the traces of it folded up and discarded, everything was scrubbed and sanitized. No tangible trace of the secret remained.
More kind faces assured the little girl that everything had worked out in the best possible way, and something behind their smiles, hidden away deep in their eyes caused the painful throbbing in the girl's chest to echo throughout her entire self.
Time passed, and the little girl grew. Her secret faded away for some, but never for her.
And she remained nameless.
Secrets like that have teeth.
ReplyDeleteGod, how I hate those kinds of secrets. They're always there, hiding, or sometimes right there in front of your face.
ReplyDeleteMAW said it very well...like beasts sleeping in the shadows. Eventually we stop running, and they catch us.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the only way to defeat the beast, is to run right down its throat.
Peace, my dear.
We all carry secrets. All of us.
ReplyDeleteWhat Kelly said.
ReplyDeleteso many people have already said it better.
ReplyDelete