Last week, if you recall, I gave you a humorous-ish post called some items for your consideration. I got a variety of comments and found a couple of blogs just waiting to be discovered by me, and I got a surprise comment from a reader I haven't heard from in a long time. (She's married!!! And owns a house!!!)
Anyway. We have a little friend who comes to our home after school, sometimes four days a week, because her mother has some issues and she is being cared for primarily by her grandparents, and they both work, and my children A-FREAKING-DORE this child, and it just works, so we do it. So Nana came to retrieve Little Friend on Monday, and she has just started to use the computer and somehow the topic of Teh Interwebs came up.
And what does Nana say? Nana, who is everything a nana should be? she says: Oh, my, I was reading your blog-thing and I laughed so hard the part about you offering se.xual favors for fixing your television and being so glad that Jon was the one who came through in the end. That was so funny!
Alright. Number One: Nana, please do not ever use the phrase "SE.XUAL FAVORS" in conversation with me ever again. Number Two: The rest of you? STOP LAUGHING. How would you feel if your dear, sweet Nana busted out laughing at YOU offering the favors? Hmmmm??? I think, perhaps, it might be a little awkward.
And speaking of awkward: MY EVERY MOVE is awkward. I am a living, breathing natural disaster this week. I may have mentioned the great job I did on my shoulder. Just once, I know. Physical therapy is proving to be wickedly successful, the wickedly part coming on the day of, and the day after therapy. The success shows up sometime two days later.
Why, if you only effed up your shoulder, is your every move awkward? you ask, very gently so as not to make things any more awkward that I claim that they are.
Well, I had to get some pork chops out of the big freezer for dinner on Monday, which was definitely a WICKEDLY day. And to retrieve said pork chops, I was required to walk down five stairs. BUT NO!!!! I missed the top step and fell down. And landed... wait for it... ON MY RIGHT ELBOW!!!!
I have warned against trying to replicate this level of awesome before, and I will do it again. Do.Not.Attempt.
Then. Tuesday. It was bedtime, and I had kissed Monkey Number 3 and rubbed his back, and Monkey Number 4 was in his bed, and Monkey Number 2 was waiting for me to climb up the bunk bed ladder to give him The Cuddles. I climbed up, as expected, and in a terrible and shocking turn of events, the little clippy things that hold the ladder to the top bunk EXPLODED INTO A BAJILLION PIECES AND PROPELLED ME THROUGH THE ROOF!!!!
(Read: somehow became useless and the ladder fell to the floor, and I fell on the ladder and then I said a Very Bad Word.)
It has been a long.ass.week.
The good-ish sort of news: My sister-in-law, Auntie Teff, is at a hospital that rhymes with Believeland Blinic and is having a procedure done early Friday morning that may stop her spinal cord from leaking fluid. It would be awesome if you could say her name to God tomorrow.