click here

Because in all honesty, I don't see myself actually posting today. I have nothing for you.

But Black Hockey Jesus does.

And you will read it.

And you will like it.

Thankyouverymuch.

The. End.

lesson of the week: shut up.

Despite my feelings for the POTUS, and as embarrassing as I have found many of the statements and policies he has made, I was disgusted by a speech he gave on the Fourth of July. Not by what he said, mind you; I was disgusted by the heckler(s) in the audience.

President Bush was speaking at Monticello, the home of Thomas Jefferson, at a ceremony for immigrants who were taking part in the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services Naturalization Ceremony. And some assholes people decided to exercise their right to free speech, which, to his credit, the President was fairly pleasant about at the beginning of the ceremony.

Seriously, you mocking people should be ashamed of yourselves. And for the record, I couldn't even understand you on the video. But even if I could, I wouldn't discuss what you said with my readers, RUDE BASTARDS, YOU!!! It would be a colossal waste of my time to attempt to explain how mocking the president in that situation was really mocking America, and mocking the immigrants, people who have worked really hard and must truly believe in this country to want to be official citizens. Here's another little tidbit for you to chew on: he's been the president for 8 years now, he's not going to go away or do things differently because you opened your big, moronic yap on national television. But thanks for playing.

So, in honour, or in retribution for, your enormous stupidity and flagrant rudeness and for ruining the first day as an American, I give my readers the first Dayton Time Lesson of the Week.

Shut up. SHUT. UP.

Good luck, young Jedi.

it's july 5th

And I'm headed outside to watch the neighbors' fireworks dislpay. It sounds like a good one.

That's all I've got today.

Happy not a holiday.

oh, beautiful

Happy birthday, land that I love.

puddles.

There is something completely irresistable about a puddle.



Especially for short people.



Especially before breakfast.



And in their pajamas. With suitable footwear, of course.



H.B. was a little bit soaked, so he decided on a stroll? To dry off? Or warm up?

oops...not funny

We joke about putting the short people up for auction when they're getting to be a bit much.

Seems the Germans don't think that is a good idea after all.

We would totally ask for more than $1.59, though. And we'd score tons of bids. Heck, you've seen our short people. They are totally worth $2.50 a piece, easily.

oh my.

A great big Dayton Time WTF goes out to the person who thought this up.

Seriously. The Maple Syrup Cleanse? Are you for real? Forget maple syrup and do as the Daytons do. Because really, who has the time to sit on the can for weeks on end? Heh, heh...on end. The Maker's Mark Upper and Middle Gastrointestinal Cleanse. It's fairly easy, even from the start. And this is how it works: Drink Maker's Mark until you are cleansed. It doesn't take weeks, just one night of being dedicated to imbibing as much Maker's Mark as you possibly can. It's so easy that there's even a sign, practically neon actually, that will tell you when you are finished. You will barf. That's the sign. The MMUaMGIC can take as little as an hour, and up to, well, it kinda depends on what you had for dinner, and if Chinese food is what's for dinner, it might take you a little longer to complete the MMUaMGIC due to the, er, MSG. Right, the MSG.

Just think about it, if you find yourself interested in wasting some time.