Tuesday, June 2, 2009

i only get hurt on tuesdays

today started out pretty normally.

but before i get into it, i apologize for the completely inappropriate lack of capital letters and punctuation other than periods.  the left shift key on my keyboard isn't working and i don't know how to use the one on the right.  so there.

the baby slept well, hb slept well, wee man and miss o slept well, the mister slept well.  i slept on the edge of the bed, carefully poised to neither fall off the bed into the co-sleeper nor roll to my right on to hb.  who has claimed my bed for his own.  meh.

miss o got on the bus, no muss, no fuss.

i got a little work done, and even showered.  because my scalp had this itch thing going on and it was fifteen kinds of wrong and nasty.  possibly sixteen kinds, but i was so grossed out i stopped counting.  or ninety kinds.  so. ick.

we went to the playground, i had some adult conversation... no, not adult-themed conversation, just a conversation with another adult.  wee man can do the monkey bars pretty much by himself.  and hb can jump off things onto my head.  it's awesome.  and elliott... well, he can sleep in the hotslings like a champion.

we went to the grocery store and i bought reese's pb cups and skittles in the bulk bags.  for myself.  the children are under the impression that i am going to share but that belief just adds them to the growing numbers of misguided youth in america.

we stopped to see the mister at work.  that was nice.  he told me i was the hot wife.  i was having good hair today.  because i washed it.  that always helps.  and also it was about 80 percent humidity, so my hair was about 80 percent curly.  yes, the correlation is that spot on.

we got home.  whilst i took elliott in the house, i heard the garbage truck.  a certain person cough-mister-dayton-cough did not pull the waste management container out to the street.  of course, i'm just calling it a waste management container because it manages our waste, not because it's necessarily the company who fetches our waste. cough-yes-it-cough-is-cough. i ran up the stairs in the house to fetch the stinky bag of overnight pee slings, ran down the stairs and out the front door.  i ran down the sidewalk.

except i didn't run down the sidewalk.

my left ankle bitch-slapped me by rolling in a certain direction that is unnatural, and i flew, headfirst, down the sidewalk.  oh yes, yes i did.

and the garbage man saw me.

and so did the two guys putting siding on our neighbor's house.

and so did my kids.

it was awesome except for the part where, you know, i couldn't stand up, and my head was resting on a bag full of stinky vile diapers, and the only pair of jeans that really fits me had a two holes in the knee and were covered in blood, and also the huge gross open wounds on my right knee.

go ahead and thank me for not posting a picture.  because those suckers are oozing the yuck.

i'm walking around a little because i don't know how to sit down, and also i'm in this twittering contest and i'm in the lead right now with the number of followers and i think that's cool and the mac laptop in our possession is crap and i can't tweet from the sofa.  

what... you didn't know i was in a twitter contest sponsored by hotslings and miracle blanket... well hop your little self on to twitter and sign in or sign up and follow me, i'm @Mom_17 .

i like winning things.  and there's good things to win in this game.  so go follow me, please, pretty please.

also i'm walking around because i told a friend i'd make a bunch of bread for her this week and i don't know how to back out of things.  also i can't really back out of the bread making because it was half made when my ankle hated on me.

it feels like it's on fire right now. 

at least i'll be cozy warm in bed tonight.

18 comments:

  1. ack! what a horrible fall! i hope your ankle feels better soon! that's one of the reasons i avoid running at all costs--nothing good can come of it =)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I laughed. Sorry. It wasn't personal. I was just thinking about what it would have been like if it had been me. Because we have a hill and I would have fallen and then ROLLED down the hill. It's funny when you remember that I'm ball-shaped (I'm in shape! Round is a shape!) and that I probably wouldn't have STOPPED rolling until I was in the street. Then I would've gotten hit by a car. It's just what happens to me!

    ReplyDelete
  3. that shift key? on the right side?? it works just like the one on the left.

    you're welcome.

    sorry about the ooze.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ok, I didn't even know that there was a shift key on the right side...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ohh. That stinks!! I hate it when that happens!

    You can tweet from your cell phone---it fits in your pocket!

    Heal quickly!

    ReplyDelete
  6. OwOwOwOw!

    Sorry about the hurts. And yes, thank you for not posting a pic. :)

    Rest, breathe, relax. And did you say bread? yum.

    ReplyDelete
  7. misguided youth of america ... you make me laugh too much.
    oh yeah ... and sorry about the fall. witnesses always make it worse.
    at the very least ... did they get the garbage bag from you? or did they drive away? 'cause that would totally suck.
    also by the way ... i'm totally fine with the no capitals.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm so sorry to hear that you fell and hurt yourself. then again I'm happy to know that someone else does this kind of thing. Makes me feel like less of a klutz. And I need that feeling, I really do.

    ReplyDelete
  9. melscolorfulmetaphors... THANK YOU

    theglassdragonfly...i did tweet about it.

    churchpunkmom...i'll address you privately, miss.

    jen...glad somebody laughed about the misguided youth thing.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I laughed right out loud. In the office. Now I have to explain to the other people in the office why I'm laughing. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

    Sorry you got hurt. But I have this sick part of me that laughs hysterically when some one falls. I think it is a hereditary thing. Other family members do it to. I wonder if the garbage men laughed.

    Did anyone come to your rescue?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Falling is embarrassing even when you do it and no one can see you, so I'm sorry you had such a large audience. That blows.

    Also, sorry for the injuries, which also blow.

    I would totally help you out on Twitter, but I cannot join Twitter. It's my last hold-out. Blogging is already suffering, so I cannot add tweeting to my life. I support you in spirit of course, which I know you're like BFD woman, sign up already and actually help me.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh no! It sucks to fall down, but it sucks a gajillion times worse when it happens in front of people. As I know, because I am the master of eating shit in front of others. Hope your ankle and knees feel better soon. At least you have an excuse to go buy some new jeans!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oooh, that sucks!!

    Homemeade bread, yum!! Got any good recipes for whole wheat? Hubby's been trying to find a good one, but can't seem to get it just right.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I just laughed at you. You wanted me to, right? Well I did and I had to explain to my no-kid-having brother why your post is funny in so many ways.

    Glad you came by to introduce yourself. It was well worth the trip over and I'll be keeping my eye on you ;)

    ReplyDelete
  15. LOL great post! I am sorry you hurt yourself though. I suggest M&M therapy. And ice. And somebody else taking out the trash.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Pamela,
    You have such a way with words! Hope your knees are feeling better!

    I was glad for the adult conversation yesterday morning, too! You could have told me about the fifteen kinds of wrong and nasty before I got too close to you, though!
    Just joking... maybe not...my scalp is itching now too (ahh, the power of suggestion).

    Anyways, have a great day!
    Steph

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hi !.
    You re, I guess , probably very interested to know how one can reach 2000 per day of income .
    There is no initial capital needed You may commense earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

    AimTrust is what you need
    The firm represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

    Its head office is in Panama with structures everywhere: In USA, Canada, Cyprus.
    Do you want to become an affluent person?
    That`s your chance That`s what you really need!

    I feel good, I began to get real money with the help of this company,
    and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to select a correct partner utilizes your funds in a right way - that`s it!.
    I make 2G daily, and what I started with was a funny sum of 500 bucks!
    It`s easy to get involved , just click this link http://kaliwoto.o-f.com/domakaz.html
    and lucky you`re! Let`s take this option together to become rich

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hello !.
    You re, I guess , perhaps curious to know how one can reach 2000 per day of income .
    There is no need to invest much at first. You may commense earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

    AimTrust is what you need
    The firm represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

    It is based in Panama with affiliates everywhere: In USA, Canada, Cyprus.
    Do you want to become an affluent person?
    That`s your chance That`s what you desire!

    I feel good, I started to take up real money with the help of this company,
    and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to choose a proper partner utilizes your savings in a right way - that`s it!.
    I take now up to 2G every day, and my first deposit was 1 grand only!
    It`s easy to get involved , just click this link http://jidatagug.uvoweb.net/gujiqehy.html
    and go! Let`s take our chance together to become rich

    ReplyDelete

talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.