Monday, June 15, 2009

phone conversation in which i ask about raising "pets" in my yard

We are thinking about increasing the critter population in our yard. And by critters, I mean useful ones, like some hens and a little goat to mow our lawn for us. And by us, I mean The Mister.

So I called the Woman Who Has Access To Such Info.

Me: Hello, this is Pamela Dayton. I'm wondering what the ordinances are about pets in the village.

Her: Hello? Is someone there?

Me: Yes, I'm here. This is Pamela Dayton, and I'm calling to find out about what kinds of pets we can have in the village.

Her: Oh, yes. Hello. You want to know about pads in the village?

Me: No, I want to know if I can raise some hens and a pygmy goat.

Her: Do you mean, have animals?

Me: Yes. That is what I mean.

Her: Well, I think you can raise pretty much anything except goats and chickens and animals like that.

Me: That is why I am calling. I want to raise a few hens and a pet goat.

Her: Hello? Are you there?

Me: Yes, I'm here. What are the ordinances regarding pets?

Her: Well you can't raise a cow in the village.

Me: That's alright. I just want a pet goat.

Her: I'll check on the rules about chickens.

Me: We aren't going to have roosters, just a few hens. And a pet goat.

Her: Hello? Hello? You can't have roosters. It's just not allowed.

Me: I understand. I just want to know about hens and goats.

Her: I'll call you in a few days about the chickens. But I know you can't have roosters. Why would you even want to have hens?

Me: We eat a lot of eggs over here.

Her: I'll call you to let you know about the chickens.

Me: And the goat.

Her: I'll call you to let you know about the chickens.

Me: And also the goat.

Her: I'll call you to let you know about the chickens.

Me: We want to get a pygmy goat, too. Will you look into that?

Her: In a few days.

Me: Chickens AND A GOAT.

Her: Okay, then, so I'll call you back about the chickens.

Me: Awesome. Have a great afternoon.

14 comments:

  1. Well, maybe if you had invited the lady over Saturday night for a few drinks all that could have been avoided.

    Or not.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think you should have asked if you could have pygmy chickens and a goat. It was probably the pygmy that was screwing her up.

    and if she says no goat, just dress the goat in a chicken costume.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'll get back to you about the goat. Get a Nigerian Dwarf for heaven's sakes and avoid the whole pygmy goat debaucle. I hate pygmy goats. Bleh. But Nigerians? They ROCK.
    So. Since I am probably the only diary goat judge who is also your very good friend, you must consider that opinion.
    XOXO
    Joce
    And, I think saying 'a Nigerian Dwarf' might confuse the lady enough that she just says yes, for fear that she might get hit with a discrimination-type lawsuit.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  5. great story!!!i would love to see a picture of this woman!@

    ReplyDelete
  6. Chickens? Maybe. Rooster? Definately not.

    Goat? .........Goat?

    Well, she obviously was not in any place to even talk about a Goat.

    Probly a tragic Goat Cheese debacle from her youth.

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  7. Just tell them that the goat is actually an exotic breed of dog..... Latvian, or something....

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  8. Move next door to me. Our neighbors took in a skunk. Our neighbors across the street raised pheasants, hens, roosters and they have a goat!!!! Yep-sort of the stix out here. Let's raise free range food together.

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  9. this is a riot!
    I'm really hoping that I get to see you when you are here.
    Keep me in the loop with your plans!

    Also, I didn't notice you have a follow button all the way down there until today! I have you on my reader, but I know how nice it is to have just one more smiley face under followers so now I'm there too!

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  10. Gah! That's hysterical. Unless you're the one on the phone, of course.

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  11. She got your goat.

    Oh my gosh I crack myself up.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm very confused? You want to raise a cow?

    OMG, I need to talk to that woman...I adore people like that!

    ReplyDelete
  13. How very frustrating. Don't you wish you could reach through the phone lines and smack someone. In your case all you had to do was walk 2 doors down!

    ReplyDelete

talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.