Monday, June 15, 2009

phone conversation in which i ask about raising "pets" in my yard

We are thinking about increasing the critter population in our yard. And by critters, I mean useful ones, like some hens and a little goat to mow our lawn for us. And by us, I mean The Mister.

So I called the Woman Who Has Access To Such Info.

Me: Hello, this is Pamela Dayton. I'm wondering what the ordinances are about pets in the village.

Her: Hello? Is someone there?

Me: Yes, I'm here. This is Pamela Dayton, and I'm calling to find out about what kinds of pets we can have in the village.

Her: Oh, yes. Hello. You want to know about pads in the village?

Me: No, I want to know if I can raise some hens and a pygmy goat.

Her: Do you mean, have animals?

Me: Yes. That is what I mean.

Her: Well, I think you can raise pretty much anything except goats and chickens and animals like that.

Me: That is why I am calling. I want to raise a few hens and a pet goat.

Her: Hello? Are you there?

Me: Yes, I'm here. What are the ordinances regarding pets?

Her: Well you can't raise a cow in the village.

Me: That's alright. I just want a pet goat.

Her: I'll check on the rules about chickens.

Me: We aren't going to have roosters, just a few hens. And a pet goat.

Her: Hello? Hello? You can't have roosters. It's just not allowed.

Me: I understand. I just want to know about hens and goats.

Her: I'll call you in a few days about the chickens. But I know you can't have roosters. Why would you even want to have hens?

Me: We eat a lot of eggs over here.

Her: I'll call you to let you know about the chickens.

Me: And the goat.

Her: I'll call you to let you know about the chickens.

Me: And also the goat.

Her: I'll call you to let you know about the chickens.

Me: We want to get a pygmy goat, too. Will you look into that?

Her: In a few days.

Me: Chickens AND A GOAT.

Her: Okay, then, so I'll call you back about the chickens.

Me: Awesome. Have a great afternoon.

13 comments:

  1. Well, maybe if you had invited the lady over Saturday night for a few drinks all that could have been avoided.

    Or not.

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  2. I think you should have asked if you could have pygmy chickens and a goat. It was probably the pygmy that was screwing her up.

    and if she says no goat, just dress the goat in a chicken costume.

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  3. I'll get back to you about the goat. Get a Nigerian Dwarf for heaven's sakes and avoid the whole pygmy goat debaucle. I hate pygmy goats. Bleh. But Nigerians? They ROCK.
    So. Since I am probably the only diary goat judge who is also your very good friend, you must consider that opinion.
    XOXO
    Joce
    And, I think saying 'a Nigerian Dwarf' might confuse the lady enough that she just says yes, for fear that she might get hit with a discrimination-type lawsuit.

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  4. great story!!!i would love to see a picture of this woman!@

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  5. Chickens? Maybe. Rooster? Definately not.

    Goat? .........Goat?

    Well, she obviously was not in any place to even talk about a Goat.

    Probly a tragic Goat Cheese debacle from her youth.

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  6. Just tell them that the goat is actually an exotic breed of dog..... Latvian, or something....

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  7. Move next door to me. Our neighbors took in a skunk. Our neighbors across the street raised pheasants, hens, roosters and they have a goat!!!! Yep-sort of the stix out here. Let's raise free range food together.

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  8. this is a riot!
    I'm really hoping that I get to see you when you are here.
    Keep me in the loop with your plans!

    Also, I didn't notice you have a follow button all the way down there until today! I have you on my reader, but I know how nice it is to have just one more smiley face under followers so now I'm there too!

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  9. Gah! That's hysterical. Unless you're the one on the phone, of course.

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  10. She got your goat.

    Oh my gosh I crack myself up.

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  11. I'm very confused? You want to raise a cow?

    OMG, I need to talk to that woman...I adore people like that!

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  12. How very frustrating. Don't you wish you could reach through the phone lines and smack someone. In your case all you had to do was walk 2 doors down!

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talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.