Tuesday, July 28, 2009

today is tuesday, at least for a little while longer

I was planning to post in a group thingy on the topic of Cloth Diapering: What I Know Now That I Wish I Had Known Before...

But I forgot.

Until I turned the computer on for the first time at 6 pm.

Why, yes, yes I am awesome. Thanks for noticing.

Yesterday was Wee Man's birthday. All day long he would tell anybody with ears, I'm four already. ALREADY. Like he was SUDDENLY 85 years old, after having been 3 for 364.25 days.

Oh, right, the diapering thing.

I wish I knew that I would totally be in love with cloth diapering, and that two and a little more years later, I think sposies are dis.gus.ting. And stinky. The cloth? Not so much with the stinkle.

The End.

There is one bastard mosquito that has been buzzing my ears the way Goose and what's his face buzzed the tower in that movie about the bastard pilot who gets to screw the hot instructor with that crazypants actor who is married to Katie Holmes, who will forever be Katie, and never Kate, except to Mr. Crazypants Actorpants.

And yes, I know his name.

I think I should have grabbed one of Keely's badges for this Totally Random post.

I was mowing the lawn tonight. In the dark. WHY? Because it needed to be mowed. And that was the first chance I had to mow it. And let me tell you, people, the mosquitoes love it when you're out after dark, sweating 'em off. They like their blood with a little salt, just the way I like my margaritas. Back in the day when I took the time to mix my drinks.

Now?

Get 'er done.

I can't believe I just wrote that on my blog.

I am broken.

Send help.

In other news, I have just killed six mosquitoes on my monitor. And also one fly. Bite me, PETA. Up to seven, now. I should get out some chopsticks and go all Mr. Miagi on their asses. That'd teach them to fly in the ENORMOUS HOLE IN MY SCREEN DOOR, which THEREBY DEFEATS THE PURPOSE OF HAVING A SCREEN DOOR. And also? The people who leave the back door of our house open? YOU ARE NOT HELPING ME TO NOT DIE FROM WESTERN NEW YORK MALARIA.

There's really no such thing as Western New York Malaria, I just want to see how long it takes for someone to ask the Googles about Western New York Malaria, and maybe they'll read this post and leave a comment, and then that would be super exciting because I could totally use the Googles to stalk them, with a little help from my friends at Sitemeter, and I'd have a brand new hobby.

And no, no bourbon tonight.

You should have known, really, because my spelling was normal.

4 comments:

  1. someday, at the end of your movie, post kids!, you get your brain back, your hair and makeup-perfect, body better than mr. actorpants/i need to medicated, wife, and everyone worships you, your house is a dream home, you're the queen "bee", look out bloodsuckers! with a delicous cocktail in your hand you can tell everyone how you really feel!!
    you've made my morning, thanks!

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  2. Ha! You made me laugh out loud. Then I got to see your new pix. The Mister should turn that "W" upside down and make it a "M" for Mister!

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  3. DEET.

    I don't care if it causes mutant everything.

    DEET.

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  4. you make me laugh. super laugh. and don't ever come to minnesota. mosquitos are the state bird. seriously.

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talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.