Thursday, January 14, 2010

did you ever...

CRINGE?

Mama, you wear *enormous* underpants.

WANT TO BURY YOUR HEAD IN THE SAND?

Doctor, you have a fat. butt.

WANT TO RUN AWAY?

Sometimes I breastfeed my Barbie doll with my nipples. And sometimes I breastfeed her with my penis.

11 comments:

  1. Wow, that's versatile, if a bit cringeworthy! :)

    And no, I never breastfed my Barbie. Wait, I never had Barbie dolls. Oh, hold up, I never breastfed or tried to breastfeed my dolls. Crud, wait, GI Joes are not dolls, they are action figures...

    ...and I didn't try to breastfeed them, either, with any body part :)

    Happy Friday!

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  2. My friend was 5 when her brother was born, and used her baby doll to nurse when mama was nursing. She walked into a neighbor's house, sat down and proceeded to lift up her shirt to feed the 'baby.'At the look of protest from Mrs. Smith, she said, "Well, if it bothers you, don't look."

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  3. my girly-girls breastfeed all. the. time.
    secretly ... i love it.
    is that weird?
    and as of right now ... we don't have any penises in the house ... except for the husband ... and he's never done that. thank god. because then? it would be really weird.

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  4. All of my boys have proudly nursed various stuffed animals, but never with their penises that I know of. As for cringing? Don't shower with a 3-year-old. Ever. It is not good for the ego. As for burying my head in the sand? I have a 5-year-old who likes to tell people when they have bad breath.

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  5. You made me laugh so hard I cried. And I had to make my husband read it and he laughed too. Thank you Pamela. You made my week. :)

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  6. Um, that's not breastfeeding...that's another word that starts with B.

    Tee hee.

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  7. If penises had breasts, women would be quickly obsolete.

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  8. Gumbo lies, he totally breast fed his GI Joe's.

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talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.