This is going to be a really short story.
Once upon a time, The Mister got Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas from his parents for Christmas. He watched it once or twice and then it sat quietly, innocuously, lying in wait, in the bottom drawer of the cabinet in the living room.
Then it was discovered by the short people, and ever since I have been subjected to the River Bottom Nightmare.
You can get it for $8 on Amazon. It's well-worth the money if you get your crazy meds for free, or if you need some time alone to do things like shower. Or stab yourself in the eyes.
Disclosure: This isn't actually a review. So put that in your pipe and smoke it.