some things to think about

1. It is insanely humid. I know that this is not something you especially want to think about, but it is something I cannot help thinking about. I have worn a bandanna on my noggin for eight days, now, it's so stinking humid. I have frizz on my frizz.
2. Playing golf. So tomorrow, if you are doing something important that you do not want to do, say, laundry, or if you find yourself puttering around doing things that are unimportant, I highly recommend that you bring your golfing shoes, golfing implements, and your checkbook to the Bethany Hills Golf Course to meet me for a round of golf. At noon. Clarification: I do not actually play golf, because are you kidding me? I am there to take your money. The golf is a means to an end. You pay me money to let you play golf, and allow me to feed you the most loveliest pig roast dinner and ply you with gifts, and I take your money to the Habitat for Humanity of Genesee County, NY, bank account, and we use your money to rehab our seventh home. That, my friends, is an Excellent Idea.
3. How bad would it be if HB only wore diapers for bed and naps for the rest of the summer? That is what I would like to know.
4. Putting laundry in its assigned place. And I mostly just think about that and never do it.
5. What is the matter with Fox News, and who lets them use the phrase 'Baby Mama'? Nobody is calling Cindy McCain John's 'Ho'. Seriously. Equal treatment by the media. Let's have it.
6. Dinner. People must eat. Short people are not so much good figuring that out on their own. Hmmm.
7. Will it actually ever rain? I think it may not. Ever. Rain. Again. And that is bad news for my garden.
8. Great deals at the pharmacy. It's that time again, when my roots take over control of my entire being, and advertise that I am 900 years old when I am only 31. So I bought hair dye. Not the cheap kind I used when things went badly, but Real Good Stuff. And it was buy one, get one free. And the lady at the counter had TWO, $3 COUPONS! So it was really, Pay Two Bucks and Get Two Hair Dyes! Or, Get Two Hair Dyes For Wicked Cheap And Feel Like You Didn't Actually Buy A Pint of Dulce de Leche Haagen-Dazs. Either way.
9. Woot. What is the deal with Woot? I hear it, I see it in actual writing. What the, people? It doesn't even flow trippingly off the tongue. It's not natural. And running a close second to 'woot' is 'right?'. As in I was walking to the post office, right, and I saw a fire truck. Right.?.?. Not a question, not seeking correctness. Just punctuation. Here's a tip: Just stop talking, and let the period at the end of the sentence speak for you. And itself. It is much more efficient.
10. And finally, The Potential Sex Dream That Never Actually Materializes. It was shaping up to be such a nice dream. But there were lots. And. Lots. Of interruptions. Until finally I woke up this morning to hear a friend in my house, shouting to me that the Wee Man had escaped and was running down the street to Grandma's. Rude. Interruptions are just plain inconsiderate. Except for my friend who was trying to help my son. We like that. We do not like rude interruptions, though, even if the interruption is interrupting something that is not actually happening.