Thursday, June 4, 2009

why i'm going to the pediatrician's office in my pajamas

first, i would like to address the not-actually-helpful hints some of you cough*churchpunkmom*cough tossed my way about Using The Right Pinky Shift Key.   which is what i used to type the whole Using The Right Pinky Shift Key both times i just typed it.  it's just awkward, alright?  about as awkward as actually typing awkward was each of the three times i typed it, and it just keeps getting awkwarder.  even more awkwarder than the word awkwarder.

moving on to my second item, why i'm going to the pediatrician's office...

because elliott has this raspy little voice when he cries that sounds just awful.  and also? the boogers.  the boogers have been visiting his nasal area for more than 10 days, and they are thick and yellowish-greenish, kind of like what a mountain dew milk shake might look like if anyone was ever gross enough to make and consume such a thing.  the thought of a mountain dew milkshake is actually more grosser than the boogers right now, as the boogers and i have a special bond.  and that bond is called THEY ALSO ARE ON MY CLOTHING.  

item the third... in my pajamas.

i wore a skirt yesterday because my bashed-to-hell knee couldn't handle wearing pants.  and walking around with no pants is not super conducive to chasing a certain 2.5 year-old boy down the street, and also wearing no pants is considered, well, an invitation to, ummm, well, if you need me to tell you, maybe i shouldn't explain it to you.

side note: why is it that any word ending in IN i add an extra G at the end? probably because i'm not from the south?

anyway.  jeans hurt my knee.  and maybe you're right, maybe i'm being a big baby, but my knee freaking hurts and it is unpleasant.  also i cannot kneel down on the ground to retrieve items that have been thrown in my general direction because it hurts and also my knee doesn't bend that much.  and no, i'm still not going to post a picture.

so, yes, it's way late in the afternoon as i type this, and i'm still in my comfy pink pajama pants and The Mister's nasty old supersoftie black T-shirt with paint (dry) all over it.  i was cleaning today, and making peanut butter, and carrying people back to time out, and holding my little Raspy-utan because he just wants to be held and can you blame him?  and i've been trying to do a good job twittering today, because, hello! i want to win the Hotslings/Miracle Blanket game. and i had to wash diapers today, and also i had to take down the play tent in the living room because certain short boys who can walk were being ridiculous and i'm mean, so when i went to toss the pieces and parts of the play tent in the pack and play, because i'm, you know, busy, and that was a good place to stick it, i found a nasty, wet, poop-filled elliott diaper, sitting there, in its cover, creating a stink.  eeeeeeewwwwwwwww.  i feel confident that i was not the person who put the diaper there, on the baby's comfycozy sheepskin (i just typed sheepsking) to rot, because i am quite fond of this new invention they have for wet cloth diapers and it is called a WETBAG.  and the idea behind the glorious invention called the wetbag is that you put the used diapers in it.  you know, SO THEY CAN GET WASHED WITH THE REST OF THE NASTY DIAPERS.  

also? i forgot to eat lunch. thank the good Lord that wee man and i made the single most amazing cake i have ever eaten in my life.  because cake, and cake alone have been sustaining me today.  also coffee.  and skittles.  don't ask.

oh... and all of you who commented that you were laughing at the story of me falling on my head and breaking myself? you're great.  i like comments, and i love to make you laugh.  seriously.  there wasn't an ounce of snark or sass in that statement.  

now please excuse me while i go eat more cake.


  1. I'm always glad to be of assistance.. and so happy you figured that shift key out. ;)

    Thank you for wearing pants.

  2. I know that thing about being pantsless. Husband Styro has radar for that kind of thing.

  3. No one invites me to anything when I don't wear mean like parties or something?

    BTW: "Raspy-utan" - that was sheer genius, my dear. :)

  4. Hopefully baby Elliott starts to feel better soon. Jammie pants qualify as pants. I'm just sayin'

  5. Oh! ha ha ha, when I thought you were referring to your cooter yesterday you were actually talking about your knee. My bad.


talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.