Tuesday, May 18, 2010

he sings.

Just checking in to let you know I'm not dead or anything.  Life is life, and, well, you know.

I took the short people to Wendy's today, because sometimes I just can't. eat. another. peanut-jelly. And also? The leftovers were just too good for you to be any sort of enough for me.

Naturally, each of the short people needed to take a trip to the bathroom, and none of those trips coincided with one another.  And also, not unexpectedly, the women's loo was out of order or something, so we had to go in the men's.  (Men. Really? Come ON.  There's a BRIGHT RED SPLASHMAT in that thing. How do you miss?)  And also, because it is entirely inevitable, HB needed to take care of Everything.  So there I stood, in the doorway of the men's loo, door open to allow a little fresh air, waiting and waiting and waiting.  And also waiting.

Because that guy? TAKES HIS TIME.  Dude masterfully crafts his craps.  Or something.  And to wither the time away whilst craftily crapping?  Dude sings.  Today, he chirped out an original number I have entitled (based on the lyrics) I WISH FOR DADDY.    It was freaking adorable, people.  His sweet little voice, wishing for daddy, echoing off the cold tile, punctuated with grunts and splashes.  It left me wishing for one of those cute little Flip cameras, because that is just the sort of thing that should have been captured and saved for, say, the video montage at his wedding.


  1. How many bathrooms have I waited in over the years? Too many. And there have been times, before the first set of little people became medium-sized people and could stand against the wall with the new crop of little people - where I, myself, had to take care of business and had to stuff little people in the stall with me so they wouldn't escape out into the Great Wide Open of Wherever and let me tell you - A) I wish I could have taped their mouths shut because there was always a running commentary of the entire process complete with embarassing questions and B) I am certainly glad none of the little people had a flip cam.
    So we have a date at Niagara?

  2. Don't even get me started on Women's bathrooms. True, men miss the "mark" every now and then but women have a lot more accessories going on in their restrooms and leave reminders of their gender laying around. I work in Facilities and I hear the "horror stories".

    But I agree, invest in a Flip. That would be a show stopper at his wedding.
    Your Friend, m.

  3. Awww, that's special. ;)

  4. One, I used to clean women's bathrooms when I was a college custodian. I also cleaned a few women's bathrooms at female barracks while I was in the Navy. You really don't want to have this debate. :)

    Two, your kid is hysterical!

  5. My husband worked at a drive-in theatre in the Lockport area and swore the women's bathrooms were always grosser. However, my Burger King experience was exactly the opposite. Woman's - 2 minutes to tidy up. Men's - 8 - 10 minutes to gather newspaper sections, wadded paper towels that missed the basket, toilet paper flakes/flecks/strips, and THEN the sweeping around the wet spots and THEN the mopping with the mop that was NOT also used in the kitchen, for that very reason, then the hosing down of the grimy sink and faucets. Maybe the women are just cleaner in our neck of the woods?

    And we don't get singing, we get an endless supply of poopy jokes.


talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.