Monday, July 19, 2010

breastfeeding is not a sex act.

I keep thinking about Jessamine and baby Hazel and Ezra (who has a concussion but is mostly torqued because he can't do fun things for a while... naturally).  I picture myself in the Emergency Department, breastfeeding my infant while waiting for my injured older child to be seen.  Because that's actually happened, more than once, I can see that easily.

Breastfeeding is kind of like breathing for me.  Not in the sense that I need to breastfeed to continue living, but more along the lines of breastfeeding is something I can do while I do everything else that I do.  I breathe in my kitchen, in the back yard, on the front step, in the grocery store, in church, at the park, at the swimming pool, at the library, walking around town, at the museum, at the zoo, while reading to my short people, while knitting, when I talk on the phone.   And I breastfeed my baby in my kitchen, in the back yard, on the front step, in the grocery store, in church, at the park, at the swimming pool, at the library, walking around town, at the museum, at the zoo, while reading to my short people, while knitting, when I talk on the phone.

I breastfed Elliott in the verysame Emergency Department where Jessamine breastfed Hazel.  Luckily (for everyone) I did not have the experience Jessamine did.  And how she did not turn into a crazed mama bear is BEYOND ME.  I do not know if I would have been so lovely and well-spoken in the same situation.  I don't know that I would have used my G-Rated Vocabulary.  BECAUSE REALLY??? MY BIG BABY IS BROKEN AND YOU ARE HASSLING ME ABOUT FEEDING MY TINY BABY???  My head might have exploded and all of the terrible things I don't say out loud would have come pouring out and then I would be in the hot seat right alongside the Children's Hospital and the Out Of Line Employee.

Jessamine knows her rights.  And she handled the situation beautifully, with class and tact and just as I would have hoped to handle it if I had been the one who was attacked with ignorance and misinformation. 

But not every mama knows that she can breastfeed her baby anywhere she chooses (as long as she's not breaking the law by being there in the first place).  And not every mama is confident enough with breastfeeding... for so many reasons... maybe she has large breasts and feels awkward, maybe she has a baby who's a looker, and likes to look around at every last flash of light and movement.  Maybe the thought of lifting her shirt and exposing some of the stretched out former residence of her beautiful babe makes her feel horrible, no thanks to the hyper-sexualized society in which we live.   We are assaulted, no thanks whatsoever to the media who does this, by shiny, tan, tight bodies and perky breasts and every inch of every magazine cover and every second of the television is dripping in sexuality.

4 comments:

  1. I would add, breastfeeding is not gross, either. People constantly equate public breastfeeding with either pubic defecation or urination, as if the act of feeding my child is synonymous with the act of eliminating waste from my ass.

    I feel like two things are going on here. First, our society, as you pointed out, views breasts solely as sexual items. It's okay to display them in a low-cut tank (as I do frequently!) but not to feed your child with. I display more in my tanks than I ever did nursing my kids. And there is also, as I pointed out, this lingering notion that nursing a child is disgusting (ewww! milk, from the boobies!) and thus needs to be hidden away in a stall.

    The only way, IMO, to eradicate the world of this kind of thinking, is to persist on just as we are doing. Nurse in public. Nurse in public. Nurse in public. Know your rights, and nurse in public.

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  2. I agree. I am unfortunately a very modest person due to certain circumstances in my upbringing (which my blog is about:)) but I would never think twice about a woman who is able to just lift up her shirt and feed her child. Apparently, my mind is able to disassociate the act of breastfeeding from public nudity for everyone but myself, lol.

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  3. People are so ignorant!

    This story blows my mind.

    Do you know if the law is pretty much the same in the rest of the US as it is in NY? Just curious.

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  4. Thank you for bringing attention to this story. The more we fight back the more "normal" it will become and hopfully other mothers will not have to go through this.

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talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.