Friday, August 29, 2008

statistically dead guy with pet barracuda

So Senator McCain has chosen Governor Sarah Palin to be his running mate.

Of course he chose a woman. And I'm not saying that to dog Governor Palin or any other woman running for office, but what an obvious bit of strategery there, Mr. McCain. Choose a woman to entice the (now-satisfied, thanks to the Pageantry of Denver) female population to throw their votes your way in November. A woman who has won her reputation as Sarah Barracuda by fighting with members of her own party? By forcing other public servants to resign their positions? This is me, totally not surprised at all.

Governor Palin is being painted by the media as being the tip of the right wing. She's a card-carrying lifetime member of the NRA. The right to bear arms is very important, but it's equally important to keep the big guns off the streets, and out of the hands of career criminals. One of her goals is to overturn Roe v. Wade. I'm not a fan of abortion, but I'm way less of a fan of the back-alley-use-of-a-coat-hanger procedures that would run rampant in this country if abortion was once again illegal. I think abstinence is a good idea, and I have learned the effects of not practicing abstinence. Is abstinence-only education the way to go? Does trying to make sex taboo to a bunch of horny teenagers really work? Does making anything taboo to any sort of teenager really serve as a deterrent? Underage Maybe not.

The thing about Governor Palin that makes it really difficult to understand how she came to be the Vice-presidential candidate is her lack of experience. All Senator McCain has been saying about Senator Obama is, "Who has the experience to lead?" Respectfully, Senator McCain, you're pretty old. A study in the American Journal of Preventative Medicine released data on occupations and mortality rates for white men in the United States. Physicians were the oldest, with an average age of 73.0 years, lawyers were 72.3, all examined professionals had an average age of 70.9 years, and all men had an average age of 70.3 at the time of their deaths. Really, sir, you have already exceeded your life expectancy. To top that, you want us to vote for you, knowing that statistically you died two years ago, so that your running mate, whose longest held political office was mayor of a town, population 8,000, can be the Actual President? When you actually die? Is there any point in examining Governor Palin's experience with, say, foreign policy? Or did she and the mayor of the neighboring towns get together one summer and plan their fireworks display? That's foreign for a mayor, no?

On behalf of the part of the country that is not located on the tip of the right wing, I would like to extend my most sincere gratitude to Senator McCain for making it even easier to decide which way to cast my ballot. Statistically dead guy with an aspersion-casting barracuda? Not for me, thanks.


  1. Statistically dead guy. I gotta use that one. Hope you don't mind...:)

  2. This is so perfect. I might go delete my Palin post. I suck.

    Shame spiral. Self-doubt. It's all because of Sarah Palin. I knew she couldn't be trusted.

  3. The BEST POST TITLE EVER. The rest was good too - but I think I'll be sending you some linky love over the weekend :)

  4. OK, do you know how great this post is?

    Do you?

    "To top that, you want us to vote for you, knowing that statistically you died two years ago..."


  5. That's a title worthy of British satire. Move over Willy Shakespeare and Doug Adams!

  6. my personal favorite:

    it's sad and shocking to me how many comments i've read on various articles from women who say they WILL vote for her...because she's a woman, and because they want hillary to run in 2012.

  7. Thank you so much for posting this - you've echoed my thoughts exactly.

    Maybe her foreign policy is based on her experience with the contiguous 48?

  8. Interesting post! I'm sending it to my friend Katy who is working her fanny off for the Obama campaign knocking doors and registering voters.


    P.S. This is my very first-ever visit to your blog and I love it!

  9. I diagree with you in every way but really enjoyed reading your point of view--well said, even though I think you didn't take a few things into consideration:

    statistically dead guy OR man with tons of experience, he defended our country and was a POW for crying out loud--i think that deserves some respect-what if you marginalized obama with statistics the same way you just marginalized mccain? i bet people wouldn't be leaving you such loving comments!

    abortion? you know that mc cain is ok with abortion, right? do you really think that a pro life vice president has enough swing to over turn R v W? I'm staunchly pro life but I DOUBT it!

    (and we've had a pro life president for the last 8 years who hasn't over turned R v W)

    experience? Palin is the only one of the four (including obama, biden and mc cain) that has held ANY executive office in our country--if you're going to hold youth against someone, you have to hold it against obama as well.

    guns? seriously? i highly doubt that just b/c Palin is a card carrying member of the NRA that she wants to throw guns off the back of a bus in an effort to put them into the hands of those who shouldn't have them--ridiculous--NO ONE wants more crime and "big guns in the hands of career criminals"

    i appreciate your point of view but quite honestly, it baffles me.

    oh, and i like a little healthy discussion, i hope you do too.

  10. My grandparents are actually dead. Not just statistically. Thanks for your kind words!

  11. And hey, Anonymous, if my grandparents (the one who is 70 or either of the three dead ones) wanted to run for President, I wouldn't vote for them either. Even if I agreed with their politics.

    BTW, Cat, loved your review of Shauna Glenn's book "Heaping Spoonful." I thought all the same things.


talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.