Thursday, August 13, 2009

open book, schmopen book: the august edition

Jen (or jen, if you're jen) said, i'm dying to know the outcome of the goat-chicken crusade ... really. it may sound weird (and possibly pregnancy induced) but i layed/lied/lain ... stayed awake thinking about it the other night. in other words ... dying to know is not an understatement.

Well, Jenjen, she never called me back. And after consulting with my college pal Steve, who, for the record, was totally surprised I called the lady in the first place, and by the way, Steve-O, YES, I AM SORRY ABOUT THE DINGS IN YOUR TUBA, I know I haven't said so in seven or so years, but I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.

Where was I? Right. The goat-chicken crusade. We are getting chickens, and waiting until next year to get a goat. The Mister knows a guy from work who is getting rid of his young (?) good layers (?). Sounds dirty, I know, but a) we're talking about chickens, and b) I like it.

k8mc said I would like to know how you came to the decision to start homeschooling.

Ah, yes, the homeschooling. Here's the short version: If anybody should have been a raging success at Kindergarten, it was Miss O. She had an amazing teacher, her BFF was in the class, she loves schoolish things. But she used up every ounce of good at school and was miserable from the time she got home until the time she got to school the next day. She is a brilliant child who deserves so much more than to be stressed out and exhausted all the time. So we pulled her out.

And for all of you homeschool haters out there, who want to know how I'm qualified to provide my child with an education, here's this: I'M A CERTIFIED TEACHER. SO SHUT IT.

Hanna said, I would like to know if ma vajaja will ever heal after that hellish episode in which my son made his exit? Cause at the moment I feel like I am going to be broken FOR-EV-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! Thanks.

Ummm, yeah, Hanna? You've done this twice before. Your girly places are pretty much elastic, even if they have nylon thread holding them together. Put on your big girl pants and do some Kegels, everything will be just fine. And them there Kegel exercises might be more exciting than you think.

Anonymous, aka Vanessa, said, is the dayton baby making factory going to be operating in the future or have has the shut down and lay offs happened? And then she said, i ask because you are just my favorite mom and you have the cutest kids...besides it is great seeing the Mister in his father role!

Anonynessa is a lovely lady, and not in the Les Miserables sense, who was friends with The Mister before I was around. And at one time, she wanted to knock my bitchass down. But now she likes me, because if she thought I needed knocking down, she'd'a done it by now.

There have been no permanent measures taken. And the only shut down happens when we are just too freaking tired to even roll over. I KNOW!!!! We *are* boring.

Or else I'm just totally lying to you all through my knocked-up pregnant lady teeth. You'll never know.

Finally, @evyready dm'ed me this message on Twitter: Can you tell me if there is still a company in Mansfield called Lube Depot? Just curious thanks.

I have consulted The Googles, Great and Powerful Knowers of Things and Stuffs, and from results 1-10 out of about 887,000, it would seem that there is no Lube Depot in Mansfield.

Really, I have no idea what this has to do with me at all. I would love to tell a witty story about that one time at band camp in Mansfield, but I'm tired, and I can't make crap like that up at this hour of the day. Also, The Mister needs to do some audio editing on this computer, and I told him I was only going to look up how to deal with diapers that are repelling, and here I am finishing my post. I suck.


  1. Wow - there is a lot of information in this here post. I'm kind of overwhelmed.

    But my first reaction is (of course) to paraphrase a quote from a movie; (if you've seen the film, Local Hero, this will make more sense than if you haven't) -

    "Do you think The Mister and Pamela 'do it' every night?"

  2. thank you ... i can sleep now.

  3. Jim Styro - No! (That may not be correct, but it is the reply in the movie, so...)
    Also, I am a certified teacher, too, but I don't think you need to be to home-school. I don't mean in a legal sense, I mean in a common-sense thingy. Certification helps you deal with thirty kids with twenty different learning styles. Beig a GOOD teacher has nothing to do with certification.

  4. Chickens and goats, huh? Well, it always starts with chickens and goats. The next thing you know you're getting bunnies for food, too, and then you're serving goatloaf and bunnichiladas to your guests.

    Proceed with caution.

    (Speaking from personal experience.)

  5. I'm doing kegels right now!

  6. i was just gonna kick your behind to defend the misters broke his heart before you filled it:)

  7. you don't suck at all, i was entertained and i didn't even ask a question!


talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.