Sunday, April 27, 2008

confession of a sticky-fingered mama

I love this stuff. I first purchased it in a little shop in NYC last June. We were walking around the city, and I had no lip balm, and the lip situation was nearing crisis levels. Now I am never without it. It's so smooth, and it smells nice, and it's all fancy with its fancy-dancy pomegranate oil in it. And it's replenishing. You just can't ask for more from a lip balm.

But, as Paul Harvey says, here's the rest of the story.

I have shoplifted this product. Twice. Go ahead, gasp, I know you are completely disappointed with me. But it was an accident, I swear. You see, most places do not sell the Heavenly Lip Balm in this handy, doesn't fall through the holes in the shopping cart, cardboard packaging. They sell it in a shrink-wrapped tube. So, to avoid losing it whilst I wander the store, I hold it in my hand. And then, inevitably, I think, Why am I holding my lip balm? So I stick it in my pocket. Like an ass. Then, hours later, when I pull my Heavenly Lip Balm from my pocket to apply more, and wonder why is it that I can't get the cap off...oh wait, it's still shrink-wrapped...dangit, I did it again...I feel like a complete and utter moron. If I had stolen it from a local store, I would take the Stupid Shoplifted Heavenly Lip Balm back and pay for it, really I would, because I have a really overdeveloped need (read: obsessive compulsion) to Do The Right Thing. But as it is, I seem to only shoplift from stores that are an hour away from where I live. Dangit.

I am sorry for stealing the Heavenly Lip Balm. I am just going to order it online from now on, to avoid this sticky situation. Apologies, Dr. Burt.

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