Thursday, September 17, 2009

remember that one time when i tried to be responsible and called about the goat?

No? Are you kidding? That post was hilarious. Click here. Read it again. I'll wait.

Funny, right?

Want to know what's really funny?

When you finally get the chickens. And there are two. And they are nice, and quiet, and eat your icky compost.

Then you get three more. And two are leghorns, and please, for the love of all things poutlry, say LEGGERNS, not leg horns.

And the first day you have five chickens including two stupid leghorns, one of the stupid leghorns gets out. By OUT, I mean in my neighbor's yard. And on the sidewalk. And in front of my house. And in the bushes.

Quite possibly I was seen weilding my yellow broom all lacrosse style and whatnot, reaching out to head The Stupid Chicken off, my mad agility-ish skills betraying me for the klutz I truly am. It is also quite possible that The Mister was seen removing his hat to throw ahead of The Stupid Chicken to cause her to run in the opposite direction.

But I'm not entirely sure, because I was laughing so hard at the sight of us running all willy-nilly around our yard that I can't really remember.

I do remember that our neighbors' sons, who are older than us by at least the fingers on two hands, were TOTALLY THRILLED that one of our The Stupid Chicken got out. And I am not being sarcastic. They enthusiastically joined in the fray, running around like a couple of giddy schoolgirls.

I also remember calling my BFF, K, and telling her I was really glad that The Stupid Chicken got out in broad daylight, and was thankful it wasn't nighttime, because that would seriously cramp our chicken-chasing style.

I called her again last night, and said, Remember how I said that chasing The Stupid Chicken in the dark would be no fun? Well, it's not.

Because that same Stupid Chicken got out. Again. In the dark.

Fortunately, The Mister is a Stupid Chicken catching ninja, and apprehended The Stupid Chicken very quickly. The Stupid Chicken was not very excited about being chased and caught this time. She squawked and hollered all the way back to the pen and thank the good Lord no PETA people were in the vicinity, they'd have poured red paint on us and cut up our leather belts to teach us a lesson.

Or something.

So the score? Humans 2, Stupid Chicken 0.

Next time, the score will be Humans full belly, Stupid Chicken deceased.


  1. Awesome post! LOVE your last line :)

  2. The getting out thing is just to get back at you in advance because she knows you're going to eat her.
    Chickens are sneaky like that.

  3. Love it and how did I miss the first post???!!

    I am thinking about getting some chickens but the hubby is anti-critter. I will make sure he DOESN'T read this post just in case he may change in mind in a few years!

  4. Leggern??? Really?? So it's actually pronounced Foghorn Leggern???

  5. I think Foghorn Leghorn is the exception to the rule. I was so surprised the first time I heard leghorn pronounced took me the entire conversation to figure out what the other person was talking about! Too funny.

  6. Are those laying chickens? If so they'll come back on their own. They like to lay their eggs in their own nests so they never get too far away. Or at least all the ones I've ever owned did. We free-ranged ours on 5 acres and only lost a couple to weasels none ever got lost.

  7. Cat-like reflexes... wa-CHA!!!

  8. i think this line ...
    The Mister is a Stupid Chicken catching ninja
    is now my most favorite line of all time. and if i ever get the pleasure of meeting him ... can i call him that?

  9. I think it is Feggern Leggern. ;-)

    Or when you are being trapped in the pen by a wicked rooster, it's

    "Feckin' Leggern"

    And yes, when we had chickens, I did get trapped in a corner by a rooster. I beat him off with a feed can.

  10. @Jen - You can TOTALLY call me the Chicken Ninja.


talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.