Saturday, January 22, 2011

ten tips to ruin the life of your 22 month old, hope this helps

  1. change the diaper more than, say, once a day
  2. walk out of the room
  3. shower with the curtain closed
  4. thwart attempt to push kitchen chair toward counters
  5. thwart attempt to use dishwasher door as a diving board
  6. pretty much thwart anything
  7. remove his mouth from the cat's tail
  8. cuddle, hug, or otherwise demonstrate affection for any other person
  9. utilize car seat
  10. offer actual food at mealtimes, and not chocolate
*please note, these are in no particular order, and you will achieve enormous amounts of success by employing these tried-and-true methods*


  1. Wow, what a taskmaster! Following the Tiger mom model, are we? :)

  2. They are cranky little things at that age, if I remember right. All these great ideas, and no one will let them carry them out. We just stifle innovation, don't we? A kid I used to teach once used air quotes around the term dangerous in this sentence: My mom won't let us jump off the garage anymore because it's dangerous.

  3. My almost 30 month old still resents my general thwarting, utilization of the car seat and failure to serve candy for dinner. So not only are these tried and true, they're classic techniques that will stand the test of time!

    Looking forward to the Precise Science of Forgetting to Eat. I'm attempting to put myself on a schedule, like we do prisoners and elementary school students. Middling success so far,

  4. Awesome. This would be wildly popular on YouTube as a "How-to" video series. You teach "Film Editing" in yer homeschool, right?

  5. Since that's where we're at over here at 21 months...I really don't have any hope of things getting easier in a month, do I? ;) Ha!

  6. How can he be 22 months?? I swear it was yesterday that you were preggers and still had like 2 months left but were having contractions all the time.
    How about wiping snotty noses?? That seems to ruin the life of my 8 month old, 2 year old and 4 year old.


talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.