one more for the resume'

I lived with a blessing for two weeks. It wasn't a surprise blessing, it was eagerly anticipated. I had something I wanted, and it was just starting to sink in, the whole bliss of getting that which I was hoping for.

And now it's gone.

Therein lies the surprise. It's not often that things go awry for me; you know I have ranted and raved about the ridiculous daily events that are my life, and there are certainly portions of this life that could go better. I have reason to believe that if something in my life is going a certain way, it will continue down that path until fruition or completion, and I'll achieve the desired outcome.

I am used to that, the whole Achieving The Desired Outcome thing.

So now that The Desired Outcome is no longer The Actual Outcome, I am not sure. What to think about this whole deal, how to wrap my brain around it, what I feel about The Desired Outcome vs. The Actual Outcome. I want to pull the cotton balls out of my brain so the big fuzzy goes away, so that I can think, and it's just not happening. (Just another example of Not Achieving The Desired Outcome.)

Surrealism is not my thing. I'm way better with the black and white, the clear-cut, the rational, the obvious. And it's just plain bizarre that in a situation that is so very black and white, clear-cut and obvious, I can't get past the surreal feeling that has invaded me.

It will fade, I hope. I'd like to say I'm sure that I will be able to see my way clear of the surreal, but maybe this is just one of those things that is going to be weird forever.

Weird forever. How's that for a promising tagline? I could put it on my business cards, supposing I ever find myself in a situation where I would be using the things.

Pamela, Boss of Things Over Here. Permanent Case of Weird Due To One Time When The Actual Outcome Was A Major Disappointment. Call any time.