all this wondering. allow me to assist.

Except I won't assist Jen.  Because she wasn't wondering, that's why.

Kara was wondering how I made this yummy cake.  (Seriously, I will wait whilst you take a trip over to Joce's blogaritaville to admire my handiwork.  Go on.  I'll still be here when you come back.)

Kara was also wondering how I created the writing.  And I'll post all that on Saturday.  So y'all come back then for the best chocolate cake E.V.A.H.

Catherine is wondering why it is zero degrees where she is up in the mountains in Colorado.  Umm, I don't know, maybe because you're up in the mountains in Colorado?  And it's winter?  Just a thought.

Jill and ChurchPunkMom told me to enjoy my contractions because it makes for easy labour.  Okay, I can do that, but I have easy labours, and if they were any easier or shorter, I would need to sleep in a tent outside the hospital so I could make it there before the baby is born.  And since The Mister works there, I think that might make an awfully awkward work environment for him.  Dayton, that's your crazy wife sleeping outside the Admissions Entrance?  We have a spare gurney or two laying around this place.  You could tell her to come in... it is still snowing out there.  It would be weird.

They are also my two best friends for appreciating my cramping my style joke.  Even though Jill called it lame.  Oh, wait.... Kara had her hand raised, too.  She's my other best friend.

Jill also wanted to know how many bottles of hair dye to use on her hair.  Funny thing, I was reading about somebody who was actually standing in Target, on the phone with the hair dye experts at the 800- or 888- number on the back of the hair dye box.  Apparently those people are extremely useful and can tell you all sorts of clever information about combining dye colors and how long to leave it on, and how many boxes you'll need.  I'm filing that one away for the next time my shiny hairs start taking over.  But I'm liking the nearly black hair I have right now.  It makes my eyes look all blue and stuff.  

Moral of that story?  Call the number on the box of hair dye and the nice lady will help you.

Moving on.

Manda is wondering about the due date.  April fifth.  Although my not-a-voodoo-witch-doctor-lady says at least a couple of days earlier.  But then, the other three were painfully late.  So my answer?  Sometime in the month of April I will have a baby.  But the last week of March would be totally okay, too.  (That last comment was only for the benefit of the STILL UNNAMED CHILD whose behind is currently displacing two of my ribs.)

Manda also is wondering why her two year-old son refuses to eat anything but candy, cookies and ice cream.  Well, probably because you're not holding out long enough, and also because he knows where you keep such things, and has figured out how to get them.  That last part is just a guess based on my own two billy goats gruff who are about fifteen seconds away from having me remove all treats from the premises.  He will get hungry enough to eat food... and by food I mean meal-worthy actual food items.  And between now and the time he gets hungry enough to eat real food?  He won't die of starvation.  And nobody will call CPS on you for refusing your kid a diet based solely on dessert.  (However, should you feel the need to provide someone a diet based solely on dessert, I am considering an experiment in which I eat all sugar-based items I can place my hands on, and then go take my glucose test.  You know, for fun.)

And Kate is wondering about cake.  Truth be told, I often marvel at the wonder of cake, too.  Maybe we should start a club.  But then again, maybe not; that seems like it would be a lot of work.  Maybe we should just eat cake.  That's at least happy work.