- explosively crapping pants
- screaming loudly, imitating nonmedicated amputees
- drinking one half gallon of water
- lying in bed, sans pull-up, and urinating all over self
- bathing some more
- continued excessive screaming
Because they bring the party to you. Oh yeah, baby, that's what they do.
In keeping with the pace the short people set for us, here is a detailed list of our New Year's Eve activities.
- Sat down on the couch.
- Fell asleep.
- Sat on the couch.
- Finished knitting super cute hat for Miss O.
- Finished the cuffs on the third woolen soaker.
- Ripped one cuff off the third woolen soaker.
- Took some acetominaphen and the happy meds.
- Changed header. (Like it?)
- Visited the Tarzhay website to enter into the $5K gift card drawing for people who answer the survey.
- Did a load of bodily expulsion laundry. This is the first thing I did, actually, before I sat on the sofa.
Please note the excessive use of booze, and also the quantity of fun party foods we've consumed this evening... NONE!!!! ZERO!!!! ZILCH!!!! NADA!!!! NIET!!!!
Actually, I don't know what the blazes niet means. I just like how it sounds.
I hope you all are behaving responsibly this year, and that none of you are so stupid as to get plastered and sleep with the guy you met at the bar tonight. Because I would be really disappointed if I heard about that. Not as disappointed as if you got plastered and got behind the wheel of your vehicle, though.
Be safe so that we can rock it the right way this year.