Saturday, January 3, 2009

i forgot to tell you about choking cats. (that sounds so terrible)

Before I even start, do not even ask me if I actually choke cats. Because I might come over there and choke you. Not really. I am totally not into choking anything. Or choking ON things, for that matter. So don't go and choke your keister on your panties before you hear my story.


Maybe the title should have been: The Tournament of Roses Parade: Who Knew It Would Rouse The Social Justice Gene In My Offspring?

And to keep putting off the main point of my blatherings, I would just like to say that as cool and fascinating as it is to see trailers plastered in organic material operating under the guise of art, I am so disgusted by things like the ToR Parade. The stupid blonde commentator actually said as part of her script: The cost of putting this float together would feed a family of four for over a year.

Someone at NBC told her to say that.

My guess is that more than one of the thousands of hungry families in this country and around the world heard her say that. And yet? A bazillion floats, each using more flowers than one large-scale florist would use in a year, each costing more than my household budget for a year.


And don't even say they were helping the economy.

So we were watching, which really means Miss O was watching, I was knitting and sort of watching, The Mister was asleep on the couch, and the boys were hitting each other with train tracks or something. It was all very uneventful except for the occasional exclamation of HORSES!!!! from Miss O, until the ASPCA commercial came on.

And that is when my daughter's fragile heart burst into ninetyelevenbazillion pieces. Thanks, ASPCA!

Those (kind, yes) people found the most pathetic-looking animals on the face of the earth, put them in cages, and went on and on about how animals are abused every 10 seconds in this country.

I'm not unsympathetic to the cause, really I'm not. All three of our cats were adopted from animal shelters, and I do believe that there is a special place in hell reserved for people who torture animals. I would guess that place is close in proximity to the place reserved for people who hurt children...but I have no plans to actually find out.

Miss O lost it. For the rest of the day.

I could give you all kinds of dramatic details, but I would hate for it to sound like I was making fun of the situation, and I am SO NOT making fun. That 60 second commercial ruined my kid's day.

And truth be told? I'm torn about that. Of course I do not want my precious babe to be upset and dismayed. But on the other hand, I'm pretty proud of her. Because after she cried and cried (which she did, for about an hour), we talked about the situation, and about how we couldn't go to the shelter and get that one kitty from the commercial, and about how she could do something to help.

The kid is totally motivated.

We are going to go to the local shelter to find out what an almost 6 year-old can do to help with the kitties. And she is going to make some supercute pompon guys to peddle at church one Sunday to raise money for the shelter. And it was all her idea.

Pretty stinking sweet.

And you were worried I was going to confess to choking little fuzzy creatures.


  1. She's wonderful. ;-) And so is her mom.

  2. When she asked what she could to to raise money I said, "Stand at church with a bowl in your hand and tell people you need money to help kitties. Make sure it's a really big bowl! Because really... how are people going to keep their hands in their pockets when faced with that?"

  3. That comment up there that says it was me? Was The Mister. But I was thinking that. Really. I was.

  4. That is pretty super cool of Miss O. I like it when people no matter how small decide to Do Something about things that bother them. I would like to contribute to the fund. So let me know when the time comes for the cute pompoms.

  5. I've seen the commercials and was right there with Miss O the first couple times. People can be cruel. I'm proud of you Miss O! I wonder where she gets her smarts and heart from??? Hmmm... ;)

  6. The coolest thing about this post? Besides your charm and wit? Them big red letters in the beginning just jump off the screen, almost in 3-D. Very cool . . .

  7. awe!!

    and, for the record, i totally did NOT think you were going to confess to choking kitties.. even if i have oodles (mountains) of reason to do so? i would not even do such a thing... (however, a few of ours may be taking a trip to the local rescue league.. don't tell your daughter.. i just can't do it anymore..)

  8. I thought it was going to be about cats that were choking. So, being a curious sort (as are many cats), I gave it a read. It was not about cats that were choking. However, it WAS quite funny ('hitting each other with train tracks': PRICELESS! I actually snorted!), and I am glad I checked it out.

    Thank you also, for visiting with me over at IG. Love to have more visitors! Oh, and I took your advice, called steenky bee a hooker. I haven't heard back from her, should I be worried? Is she planning something against me, ya think? I've heard things...

  9. @IG: I hear she's not allowed to go to Canada again after the whole Stalking Captain Dumbass Incident of 2008. It wasn't pretty. And forget the pit bull idea...she makes them look like the pussycats in the ASPCA ad.

  10. I feel the same way about the parade...DISGUST. I heard on one interview that each float costs between 80k -250k to make. WTF??? Could we not find a better use for that money?'s not even half as cool as the Macy's there.

    I saw the same commercial and am uber thankful my kids did not. I think it's wonderful that you are teaching her something as valuable as volunteerism!

  11. my girly-girls always chose one "something" to help instead of receiving presents on their birthdays.
    so far, we have always helped some sort of animal.
    it makes them feel really good. i'm sure that your daughter will feel really good about herself too. so wonderful that you are raising a child that is so caring ... and that you foster and encourage it.
    yeah you.


talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.