Saturday, January 24, 2009

my last conversation with a daughter who's five

Wow.  Reading that title, it sounds like she died.  Well, she didn't, so don't go gettin' all freaked out on me.

However, she is turning 6 in 10 hours and 15 minutes from now.  Ach.  Someone tell me I'm not really old enough to have a six year-old short person.  Really, you're wanting to tell me, Way to make her birthday about you and how old you are.  And I'm all, Shut it.  It's my blog and I'll narcissit if I want to.  I will also create words like narcissit if I want to.  And for your information, it means I will sit on my narcissicistic booty and moan if I want to.

Did I even spell that right?

Ah, the digression.  If there's a list of things you should come to expect about the dayton time, digression should be on that list.

So.  The conversation.

Miss O, rubbing my baby belly eversogently:  That baby in there is making you fatter all the time.  He's making you ROUND.

Me:  Yup.  He sure is.
Miss O:  I mean, you are seriously getting fatter and fatter all the time.  And your boobies...

Me:  Yup.  That's how it goes.

Miss O:  But really, your belly is getting really superfat.

Me:  Well, I guess I should just be glad he's not making my butt get really superfat, too.

Miss O:  Ummm....  Uh.... Well.... I guess it's not as big....  as.... a.... mammoth? butt?

Me:  A mammoth butt?

Miss O:  Well, a person's butt can't really get that big.  So I guess you're.... safe?


  1. Nice,

    I had a similar conversation with the two year old today but basically it went like this: "Mommy you're getting fat."


  2. um sorry but that's kinda funny! hate me if you must.

  3. Ouch! She really knows how to kick you when you're down, huh?

  4. Amazing, she knows what a mammoth is? Sorry about the comparison, though.

    That hesitation in her last statement worries me a little though...

  5. While I was still teaching and pregnant with Hayden, I had a student ask me:

    "Ms. Daniels, What you been eatin, you gettin fat!"

    proceeded by a little girl (bless her lord) who abroptly stapped him in the back and said:

    "Shut Up! Ms. Daniels isn't fat, she's pregnant!"

    but it must be different when its your own kid......bbbwwwwaaaaaa.hahahaahaaa

  6. I had a kid pull that with me when I was 8.5 along with Miss O. He sneered that I was getting SO FRICKIN' FAT!!! I sneered, I'm pregnant, you clever child. Then he offered to deliver my baby.


talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.