Thursday, January 1, 2009

we are terribly exciting party animals

The short people were in bed, asleep, by 9:12 P.M. They were utterly worn out from a combination of the following activities:
  • explosively crapping pants
  • bathing
  • screaming loudly, imitating nonmedicated amputees
  • drinking one half gallon of water
  • lying in bed, sans pull-up, and urinating all over self
  • bathing some more
  • continued excessive screaming

Because they bring the party to you. Oh yeah, baby, that's what they do.

In keeping with the pace the short people set for us, here is a detailed list of our New Year's Eve activities.

The Mister:

  1. Sat down on the couch.
  2. Fell asleep.

The Mama:

  1. Sat on the couch.
  2. Finished knitting super cute hat for Miss O.
  3. Finished the cuffs on the third woolen soaker.
  4. Ripped one cuff off the third woolen soaker.
  5. Took some acetominaphen and the happy meds.
  6. Changed header. (Like it?)
  7. Visited the Tarzhay website to enter into the $5K gift card drawing for people who answer the survey.
  8. Posted.
  9. Did a load of bodily expulsion laundry. This is the first thing I did, actually, before I sat on the sofa.

Please note the excessive use of booze, and also the quantity of fun party foods we've consumed this evening... NONE!!!! ZERO!!!! ZILCH!!!! NADA!!!! NIET!!!!

Actually, I don't know what the blazes niet means. I just like how it sounds.

I hope you all are behaving responsibly this year, and that none of you are so stupid as to get plastered and sleep with the guy you met at the bar tonight. Because I would be really disappointed if I heard about that. Not as disappointed as if you got plastered and got behind the wheel of your vehicle, though.

Be safe so that we can rock it the right way this year.


  1. Guess who else entered Target's $5K gift card survey!? I thought I was the only one who kept those receipts for that purpose. HAHA

    Happy New Year :)

  2. No holiday is complete without explosive crapping of pants.

    Happy New Year!

  3. ha!
    we tried to party...which means eating nachos and staying up until 11:30 b/c we just couldn't make it until midnight =)

  4. man, your little people need a vacation, and they can take my oldes with them too. Sorry about the crappy pants and screaming. We have had the crappy pants too, not bacause they are sick but bacause I bought the Wal-Mart brand diapers and they can't hold crap! (literally) Anyway, we made it to 11:00, we even had a party with neighbors but they all were home by 8:00. (they have short people too, they HAD to go to bed)

    Happy New Year! I can't wait for what new things will happen this year!

  5. I may or may not have gotten a tad shnuckered last night..

    We ate oodles of Mexican food: enchiladas, rice (you know, the red kind), beans (like the kind you get in a BAG, not a CAN), and Mexican stuffing (all kinds of awesome).. all made by my amazing husband.

    and then I may or may not have had a few shots of orange Grey Goose with mango.. stuff.. before having *hic* more than my fair share of bubbly.

    to top it all off? I woke up with horrid cramps, a back ache, and a headache. I just *love* being a woman.

  6. I got completely hammered last night and slept with the guy from the bar. The guy of course, being my husband and the bar being the kitchen of my friends house a few doors down bc we are too lame to go out anymore.

    Happy New Year!!!

  7. I do like the new header! ;-) Pretty.

    happy new year sweetie.

  8. You better jump back because I'm getting that $5,000 survey gift card. I'm sure of it.

    That sounds like a super fun party you guys had last night. I'm actually a terrible mother whose children were awake late enough for my 5 year old to ask what was wrong with the man on TV (Dick Clark). This was after we kept them out until 11:30 pm so we could play just one more song on Guitar Hero at a friends house while loading them up on Ho Ho's and Ding Dongs. They then slept in until 11:00 am this morning.

    My New Year's Resolution? Never do that again.

    Happy new year!


  9. Yeah... I lamed it up on the couch this year. But I did see my first New Year's Sunrise today, pretty frickin sweet!

  10. So I imagine explosive craps in pants is like the homemade version of fireworks, but smellier.

    We were out very late, but only one of us drank a lot. The other one was happily sober for most of the night and had a fabulous time roller skating at 4am.

  11. Ewww. I truly hope none of this happened. Please tell me it was just for fodder for the blog. Our New Year's was craptastic too. We're trying to re-celebrate tonight. We're off to a sad start. The husband has fallen asleep and I'm doomed to watch Spongebob all night. Actually, Spongebob is kind of a step up from last night.

  12. For a scary moment there, I thought you'd been spying on my New Year's Eve celebration. That whole first section pretty much described it perfectly!

  13. We had no celebratory crapping of pants. Clearly we're lame.


talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.