You know, to see if I was knocked up.
I decided to save them the trouble of billing my insurance for the pee stick, and rummaged around in my medicine cabinet for an extra.
I unwrapped the thing, assumed the position, and EVEN BEFORE THE WET HIT THE STICK, the second line appeared. Just being in close proximity to my HGC-exuding vagina was enough to tip that stick off. I'm only slightly exaggerating here. Actually, the liquid had not traveled far enough up the stick to make it appear wettish when the second line appeared.
Yep, she said, you're pregnant.
Huh, I said.
So, you're having a baby!
Meh. I have a baby right now. He's not one yet.
(Cute Ultrasound Girl squirts the goo on my belly,
That's no alien. That is an enormous baby. Oh crap.
That's a lot of baby.
Wow. That's like 23 weeks away. That is an enormous baby.
And he was.
Today, when he got up, I asked him what he wanted for breakfast.
A present, he said with a grin.
How old are you?
Send help, please.
My mama won't let go of me.
See how much cuter I am today than when I came out?
I am like a good cheese.
I'm a cheeseball.
And this? Is the best present ever.
From Wee Man, who was tired of beating
the snot out of HB for taking *his* horsey.
It was Wee Man's own idea.
Happy Birthday, Cutie Pie Dimple Head Baby Big Boy.