Tuesday, September 16, 2008

it's a crisis, apparently

So today I canned tomatoes. I canned a lot of tomatoes, one point five bushels, if you must know. And unless I really think about it, canning tomatoes is not that much work. But now that I'm thinking about it, I am exhausted.

First there's the blanching. And the coring. And the peeling. And the cutting of the tomato into halves or quarters. THEY say you can can them whole. I guess those Ball Blue Book of Canning and Preserving people have never seen the two pound beauties I had my hands on today. And these guys? Were so big.

And then you have to make sure your jars are clean and hot. And that there is very hot water in the canner. And that the rings and lids are hot.

I went about my day, check, check, check, checking items off my list.

And you have to have lemon juice to put in your jars of tomatoes if you are not using a pressure canner, which I do not have. But I do have lemon juice.

Just, not enough lemon juice.

I ran down to my MIL's house. And to my surprise, she didn't have enough lemon juice either. Her house is maison préparée. Unlike my house, which is la maison généralement non préparée, mais nous essayent d'être préparés. We try.

So I went to the grocery store. Because the grocery store won't fail me on lemon juice. The stuff never even goes on sale.

Mmmmmkay. Except for THIS grocery store. Had one. Eight-ounce bottle. And nothing more.

So I asked the nice man, Would you be so kind and check the stockroom to see if there's any more lemon juice?

He shook his balding, bespectacled noggin. I'm sorry ma'am, it seems there's a lemon juice shortage.

My face got all scrunchy, and unpleasant looking, the way it does when I believe someone is feeding me a line. I'm sorry, what did you say?

There's a lemon juice shortage. Be thankful you got as much as you did.

Then my eyes got all big and wide, the way they do when I can't really comprehend the nonsense I'm hearing. There's a lemon juice shortage?

Yes, ma'am. A lemon juice shortage.


Sorry, ma'am.

And it seems he's right. My FIL was going to a different chain store in another town this afternoon, so he agreed to get me some lemon juice. Get a lot, I said, because there's a lemon juice shortage. And I have a lot of tomatoes to can. Stock up!

That store was out, too. Whatthe?

I'm just trying to help you out here, people.

Go buy lemon juice. Before it's too late.


  1. ?

    This reminds me of the Great Banana Shortage of 1991. It was terrible. All I wanted was a banana split, and I could not get bananas anywhere for three days. Very sad.

    Lemon juice, huh?

  2. Ummm, you just made me laugh my wheezy laugh, which is rare, and hereunto unprecedented before coffee.
    PS I will go get some today. Lemon juice that is.

  3. The comment in which I reveal that I don't much about much:

    What are you going to do with canned tomatoes? Do you make them into sauce? Do people eat plain canned tomatoes? Can you make tomato paste out of canned tomatoes? Dr. Oz, 2nd husband, tells me that I should eat tomato paste whenever possible (although I assume he means not by itself, like off a spoon).

  4. no.... seriously?!

    wow. it's like that time i went to Arby's and they were out of roast beef.

  5. I was being serious about there being no lemon juice. ChurchPunkMom...I don't even sort of believe that. That's all Arby's serves is roast beef. Come on.

  6. I have a pressure canner if you don't happen to get enought lemon juice. I don't know why I have a pressure canner because I never can any thing but your welcome to use it.

  7. Checked it out for myself...


    Holy Cow...the world is going to hell in a handbasket!


  8. oy--i'm out too!

    it's like the time i went to subway and they were out of rolls.


talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.