Saturday, October 4, 2008

housekeeping saturday

I've won a Major Award. Actually, before I tell you how much I enjoys me some steenkybee, I would like to offer a Major Award to the person with the mad photoshop skillz who can create me a button that says Major Award with the Leg Lamp on it. Please, do not ask me to explain Leg Lamp and Major Award to you. And if you are able to read the word FRAGILE as it is actually pronounced, in English and without sniggering, please do not try to make me the button I seek.

I enjoys me some steenkybee. And my Major Award? The Most Disgusting Picture I’ve Ever Seen Until I Realized What It Was Award. And yes, for the record, it was a picture of the now infamous Soap Nuts you all covet.

It's hard to be as awesome as me, I know. And it's okay. Nobody really expects or wants you to display this picture in your home (or homes, if you are a certain Senator from Arizona who may own lots of real estate? but doesn't quite know).

The Hotfessional is having a very special event called Save The Boobies, Part 2. Now, you people all know how all of us here at the dayton time have a special appreciation for the boobies, some of us are exceedingly attached to them. She is raising money for the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. For every comment left at THIS POST HERE CLICK NOW AND JUST TELL HER PAMELA SENT YOU THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO Hotfessional will donate $1. And some computer geek over at CommentLuv is matching her donation. So for the thirty seconds it will take you, they'll be giving free money to fight Breast Cancer. Or don't tell her I sent you. Whatever. Just do something nice for your fellow boobie wearers.

I've been tagged by my college roommate, Julia over at Java, Literally. We totally graduated college, like, umm, thirteen weeks ago, right? And we aren't old. However, we are TERRIBLY INTERESTING. So interesting, that I have seven points to illustrate exactly how interesting I am.

Here goes:
1. I am so interesting I have to ask my husband what it is, exactly, that makes me so stinkin' interesting.

2. I am a classically trained vocalist. Also, a classically trained double bassist and pianist. My children want no part of my mad skillz. I am pretty much forbidden to sing and play in my own home. However, I WIN! Because since Wee Man trashed my car's CD player, we only listen to Member Supported Public Radio.

3. I likes me some noisy music, too. Family Force Five, Fat Boy Slim, Cake, The Offspring, The Aquabats, The Pietasters, Beastie Boys. I also think that Eminem would be truly amazing if he used his powers for good.

Anything else that's interesting about me?
Are you doing a meme?
How about your love of whiskey?

4. I love whiskey. It's a wonderfully versatile beverage. You can drink it all by itself, with ice, with coke, with diet coke, with coke/diet coke and ice, with ginger ale, in the kitchen, in the living room, outside, in the bathroom; you can drink it with beef, with chicken, with seafood, with see food, with chips, with salads.

Are you tired of helping me?
No, you need another one?
Give me a minute.

Ummm, how about your dislike of music despite your extensive and expensive training?

5. I dislike lots and lots of music due to my extensive and expensive training.

That's a good one. Very random, makes me sound like a snob. Is that the extent of my interestingness?
I'm just having trouble because my brain's kind of in park today. Your love of awful paintings?

6. I like awful paintings. The last one I purchased was by a NYS artist from the Syracuse area, I think, and it was enormous. It is framed in yellow, made-to-look-old, some-kind-of material. The scene is a sort of impressionistic hillside, all springy greens and yellows. It's actually kind of pretty. But then, at the top of the hill, are a bunch of stick figure kids, holding hands. Except for one of them isn't holding hands with the rest of the group. That child is holding a BRIGHT RED BALLOON. It is bizarre.

Almost there! I only have to tell them one more interesting thing.
Okay, you keep thinking, too.
I don't think I'm all that interesting.
You're terribly interesting.
He says, in a completely convincing tone, without taking his eyes off the television. It seems that IRON WORKERS ARE MORE INTERESTING THAN ME. Maybe I should take my clothes off. You know, to REGAIN HIS ATTENTION. If I ever had it. We don't even have cable. I am less interesting than Saturday night PBS. And you all had such high hopes for me.

I'm trying. Are you even trying?
I am. I just don't really know what is interesting about me.
How about See Food games with your mom?

7. I am the world's greatest See Food player. I get my mother EVERY single time we eat together. I'm sure she expects it by now, but sometimes I really gross her out. And it is highly entertaining. The best part? Nobody around me, with the exception of my mother and The Mister, even knows. They all think I have spectacular table manners.


  1. Thanks for the quotes Babe. You really stuck me there about the TV.

    FIRST, in my defense, allow me to say that except for being in the room when children's programming is on, I really don't watch TV.

    SECOND, yes, iron workers are more interesting than the back of my wife's head while she's blogging. Really, anything on TV would be more captivating than anything in real life because for those of us with the Y chromosome, if the Magic Box is showing us pictures, we must watch.

    THIRD, (For the benefit of any readers who may misconstrue my attraction for my lovely wife) When Mama's preggo, Mama get's her space. She's here every day wrangling the short people by herself and therefore gets whatever time she needs for decompression at the end of the day. So my evenings go something like this:
    Kids go to bed, Mama gets on the computer, Dad does the dishes, Mama's at the computer, Dad takes the trash out, Mama's at the computer, Dad checks his e-mail on his own computer, Mama's at the computer, Dad does other misc. chores around the hosue, Mama's at the computer. Sometime around midnight, all possible cleaning for the day has been accomplished and some conversation may take place. Otherwise if she needs me I get a text message.

    Don't take this to mean that we're on the outs or anything. We have great conversations in the ten minutes preceding bedtime. Who knows, now that there's a room in the house with a computer and a couch just for grownups, we may actually spend some time together in the evenings. But really, the safest bet when Mama's pregnant? Give her some space. The entire population of the tri-county area knows this, and now so do you... and knowing is half the battle.

  2. Congrats! On both the award and training your husband right :) Make sure your sons know their role too and you're DIL won't hate you.

  3. Oh, Mister. Dear Mister. I wasn't making fun of you. I was making fun of how uninteresting I am. That your Y chromosome was making sweet love to the television only made it funnier for me.

  4. I love Steenky Bee, too! And I love you. And now I love Ree for doing that breast cancer thing. Good grief, so much love! Congrats on the award!

    So I don't know how to make buttons, but did you know you can order leg lamp replicas online? We got one for my dad one year for Christmas - we even found a box and wrote FRAGILE on it. The best part is, when he unwrapped it, he said FRAGILE in precisely the right way, certainly not expecting there to actually be an authentic major award inside! It was awesome.

  5. I don't know anybody else who would purchase the soft glow of electric sex for her daddy. What a gift.

  6. Pamela you are a riot! whatever you put in your coffee in the morning make it a double shot!

  7. I'm so glad you liked it! I'm also so glad you posted that picture again. I'm at work today and I showed it to my co-workers thinking I would totally gross them out. Two out of the five around me have used these nuts before. Where have those nuts been all my life? That's what she said.

  8. It's such a wonderful feeling to finally find *the* set of nuts when you've been waiting your whole life.

  9. I'm so glad that Bloglines finally figured out that you were posting! I missed this completely.

    Thanks babe.

  10. Love that you get you space. I get that so much. Sometimes at the end of the day I'm finally doing something quiet and calm and Mr. Mustang comes in and starts a conversation and I want to strangle him..but I really love him..does that sound awful? It's not personal..


talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.