Saturday, March 29, 2008

because you should know the truth

Pickasso wuz hear.

Not really. Mostly my first- and second-born children and their nasty pencils, markers and crayons. I really do try to Monitor the Use and Cleaning Up of Drawing Implements, however those dang pencils, etc., are so crafty and sneaky, they just get out of the art cart, and have their wicked way with my walls and furniture. So, instead of making the Monitoring...Drawing Implements my number one priority, I do laundry. That cleans stuff up, too, you know?

The Mister was headed to the hardware store a little bit ago, to fix up the bathroom all nice and refreshing-like (more on that to come), so I asked him eversosweetly to pick me up one of those Mr. Baldie Magic Scrubberthings. It's Magic, right? So great, Magic Scrubberthingy. Clean the stupid Sharpie off my walls.

Here are a few shots of what me and Mr. Baldie were up against:

I call this one "Blue Nude on Parrot Green." Ths second one is just scribbling. Don't make the mistake of confusing it with Real Art.

Here is NumberOne's first attempt at Sharpie on Satin (er, paint finish that is). I think the second pic is on a dresser. I don't blame you for thinking I don't pay attention to the children. It sure does look that way.

I got me some coffee and a glove, because there is NO WAY I would touch that magic thing with bare hands. I have enough magic in me already, thankyouverymuch.

Is it the Blessed Virgin? Should I not use this sponge? I guess he could be Mr. Blessed Virgin Baldie Man, but the way those lascivious housewives look at him in the commercials, I highly doubt it. There's a few human cartoon characters who are obviously less than virginal: Jessica Rabbit, Betty Boop, Bill Clinton, and I'm pretty sure Mr. Baldie is in their gang.

But I digress. It happens so often, nowadays, have you noticed? Maybe I need to drink more...water. Might boost my brain function. Or keep me from being thirsty.

So how DID it work, after all? Pretty good on pencil, crayon and marker, except with the marker there were colossal streaks and little wet marker polka dotties all over the place that would not come off with the magic hooha, even after I rinsed it out. Repeatedly. (Read: pretty stinking annoying.) Here is some evidence of where it worked. The first picture is our former treasure, Blue Nude on Parrot Green and the next is where I was almost done getting the pencil off.

I was disappointed at the Failure To Remove Sharpie. If you are going to call yourself Magic, you should have figured out the Sharpie thing. And that is that. Here is a before and after of the non-magician-like, non-removal. The before is the black splooch at the bottom left. The after is everything else. Quality?

Also, I erased my way through the Thingy really fast. So fast that I didn't even pay attention to how quickly it deteriorated with the first one I used. I counted scrubs with the Sharpie attempt. There was a hole in it before I got to 150 erases. I counted one erase down and one erase up as one. Get it? No? Okay. Do this. Put your hand out in front of you. Move it down, and then up, and count one. Move it down and then up again, and count two. With me now? Great.

The thing is just wimpy. And, it is just another reason to clean with rags and non-toxic products. I have never erased me a hole in a cotton rag. Who has ever heard of such nonsense?

My overall rating for this ReallyNotEvenActuallyCloseToBeingMagicWasteOfMoney?

Two thumbs down.


  1. Oh Queen Silly:) Thanks for making me laugh. I think your master pieces would go great with the acrylic paint in my carpet, the carvings on my buffet, and the glue stick smears across the bedroom furniture. I give you two thumbs up for being a great mommy!

  2. It works on crayon..Also, I used to have a living room and hallway that same color green.


talk to me, people. because you know i get all giddy when you do.