Friday, April 3, 2009

first vs. fourth ...

hi all! it's me ... jen of coconutbelly fame ... i offered to give pamela a little bit of a break while she was "cranking out number four" (her words ... not mine.)

and then i managed to make myself apparently invisible. (well ... now ... we've since realized that to each other ... we are just considered spam.)
and so not the spam of minnesota heritage. (really ... that link takes you to spam dot com ... no joke ... there's even a spam fan club. now we know. life can go on.) really what i'm trying to say ... is not about spam ... i got sidetracked ... which people totally understand on my own blog ... but this isn't my place ... so i'm sorry ... it's about how we couldn't get in touch with each other. and then she had her baby and i totally stressed that she was thinking i was ignoring her request and i was thinking that maybe she didn't REALLY want me to post ...
but now ... we're all good. whew. and i've decided to give you all a few examples of a first born little in comparison to the fourth born little in a family.
and i absolutely claim to have no true knowledge of this ... i'm the oldest of two and i only have two little girls ... so this may be complete falsehood. you've been warned. please consult a medical professional with any questions. these results are not typical. please eat and drink responsibly. and look both ways before you cross the street. the end.

ah. the first child vs. the fourth child. so many differences.
in stages.
'cause that's how i roll.

during pregnancy –
first … after weeks and weeks of waiting (not-so-patiently) you FINALLY feel a kick at about 20 and some odd weeks.
fourth … you are lying in bed, roll over to your husband/significant-other/one-night-stand and mention, “well, i think we’re gonna have a baby … i just felt the little peanut kick.”

first … you take the time to rest WHENEVER possible. full out nap sessions each afternoon, ‘cause by golly … i’m growing a baby in here!
fourth … rest? never heard of it.

first … you spend hours gazing at baby room brochures and figuring out that PERFECT color scheme and pattern for the baby nursery. crying over the fact that the quilt you picked out only comes in fuchsia and NOT the perfect shade of magenta.
fourth … you cram together all of the crap gathered over the years and throw together a crib in the corner of a previously unoccupied room … husband is disgruntled about losing his office.

during labor and delivery –
first … fear of the unknown pain that is bound to come.
fourth … (still having) fear of the pain that is most absolutely bound to come. just faster.

first … husband lovingly stays at the hospital with you at all times …
fourth … you send husband home to take care of the other three and you LOVE the fact that you get a few nights at a swank hotel ... errr, i mean … hospital … where people are constantly waiting on YOU!

new baby! –
first … full out scrapbook (coordinated with the aforementioned baby bedding) highlighting every moment of your baby’s life until the second baby was born. “yay! you blew your nose for the first time this afternoon!”
fourth … mentioned in the first born’s scrapbook which has dwindled to a peel and stick photo book filled with family pictures ... “yay! you are becoming a big sister for the 3rd time!”
or, more likely, in this digital age ... an SD card with a picture of a chicken scratched note mama wrote to daddy on the morning she found out so that he could see it when he woke up before leaving for work indicating ... "pregnant".

first… pictures of EVERYTHING! approximately 52.4 pictures per hour … for several days.
fourth“where did the camera go? WHO TOOK THE CAMERA?”

and finally ... a positive ... (as if there really aren't a thousand ...)

... new baby has the love and affection of a terrific mommy and daddy.
fourth ... new baby has the love and affection of an entire already-put-together family ... and is loved beyond measure.

welcome to the world little one. and congratulations to the entire family unit.


  1. What a sweet post, Jen!

    And I, a mother of 5, can attest that (most) of this is very true. ;)

  2. Love your post! You have stepped in niecely and you have so hit the nail on the head witht he way things are between the first and 4th (although I only have 3 I can totally relate)

  3. can i comment when i post?
    too funny ... i saw the dayton time pop up in my reader and my first thought was cool! pamela wrote a post ...
    and then i realized that it is mine.
    is this a sign that i am feeling overwhelmed or have lack of sleep or that i need to quit working? 'cause if it is ... i may just have to start convincing the husband!
    thanks for letting my words hang out here too!

  4. Oh that is funny (as is your comment above!!) I just had my fourth- can relate!


  5. you are awesome jen :)

    and congrats on baby number four pamela!!

  6. Well done Jen! Congrats to Pamela whom I don't yet know. :-)

    This is so true. I only got to #3 but even with 3, it's much different than with two. I felt the exact way about the hospital. I even asked if the NICU could keep my daughter a little longer so I could recover at home after my c-section before she was released. No kidding, totally serious.

    Much love from NJ,

  7. Spoken like a trooper, I must say. I'm the oldest of six...and the difference between my mother when I was an infant and my youngest brother when he was an infant? HUGE.

    I wonder if somone posted the difference between six and fourteen for the Octomom. That would be nice.

  8. I have three boys, which are frequently more than I can handle. My husband put the kabosh on any more by running, not walking, to the nearest urologist after the third. He knew that we couldn't afford more. I mean, he had a full-time job. I was a temporarily side-tracked attorney. How are we going to put these monsters through college? Then Octomom shows up. Are you fricking kidding me? 6 kids aren't overwhelming enough for a single mom? And now her extraordinary moronishness is rewarded by all of the saviors in the world. It's a crazy world!

    At least you know that your four children will receive all of the love and attention that every child deserves. Congratulations.

  9. While the scrapbooks have sort of fallen by the wayside, we do try to keep all our babies well documented.

    We started noticing the phenomenon when our third would stir as we went to bed, "Oh... we have a baby!"

  10. Well done, Jen! I'm an only child, but you should know that according to photo albums, I was born, I suddenly turned five, then I graduated from high school. (Although there were all those pictures I took of myself in junior high when I would dress up, rat my hair and dance in the mirror to Bon Jovi music) Hmm...I finally have my next post idea...

  11. Ah, the last one really hits home. Great post!

  12. Is it bad that I am already that lax and I"m only on my first? I"m probably not even going to notice if I have another kid.

  13. Ok, now I'm off to fill out my second's baby book. I think I may have already written her name in it but it ended there. Great guest post Jen!


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